Dead Dreams & Pro Wrestling

It wasn’t that long ago that I believed in dreams. There was a freedom in living life on the assumption that anything waspossible. What I have found, however, is that life is lived between the moments of despair and happiness, that dreams change as we get older, and I am becoming OK with that.

There was a time in my life where the only thing I could imagine doing was becoming a Professional Wrestler. It didn’t matter that at the time I was much shorter than average and weighed 120 pounds, there was not a doubt in my mind that I could face giants and come away a champion of the people.

I spent three years doing push-ups, launching myself off of make shift turnbuckles which closely resembled my Father’s bar stools, and standing in front of the mirror cutting promos.

That dream would find itself derailed with my first marriage and my luckily short lived dive into alcoholism. I spent the next five years in poverty with a person who not only did not love me, but did not love me in that hurtful way where you find out that the only reason for your existence was to finance someone else’s way through theirs.

When I finally escaped the situation I picked the dream back up. This was my chance to finally do what I had always wanted to do. So I found a small wrestling school about an hour from where I lived and signed up.

The school was located in Mt. Sterling, Kentucky with a ring setup in what appeared to be a small warehouse. It didn’t matter though how dirty the ring was or the fact that I wasn’t completely convinced any of them knew a thing about wrestling because I had arrived.

My first real training session though would be at a hotel in Lexington, Kentucky. The Continental Inn was the type of place where you could rent a room by the hour, but at one time in its history must have been pretty nice because the ball room, where the ring was setup, was obviously meant to be high class.

That night I would escort Jerry ‘The King’ Lawler to the ring, would meet the enormous Abyss, and see my dream crushed in an instant.

After the event I was told to enter the ring to take some bumps before they tore it down and loaded it back up. The trainer instructed me to hold on to the center rope, lean back, and kick my feet out to land flat on my back. When my back struck the mat I lost consciousness for half a second, I set up as if underwater and everything swam before my eyes. I could hear the trainer asking me if I was ok as if he was far away and then I heard my own voice say I was. I wasn’t.

As the dizziness wore off, every nerve in my arms and upper back began burning like the first real sunburn of the summer.

I played it off in front of the guys while desperately hoping the feeling would return to my hands and that I would be able to drive home safely.

The pain was so bad that it was excruciating for weeks to stand under the shower and my hands and fingers would not get feeling back for weeks. To this day I struggle with parts of my forearms that are numb and both hands will take turns being numb for days at a time.

I would go back the following week determined to swallow the pain and try again. Unfortunately I was met with very similar results every time the trainer would have me take a bump.

So I let that dream die and again, I sank into alcoholism. That summer I had landed a job with a company that processed FMLA claims where a cousin I was close to worked. It was a fun office to work in and most of us became pretty good friends but one guy in particular would become my best friend.

Charlie was the QA Manager and a damn good musician who organized a karaoke night at a particular bar. One of our co-workers had lost a bet and it was on this night that it was decided he would have to pay up. His penalty was to sing ‘Man I feel like a Woman’ to a bar full of people.

Suddenly I found myself, usually with Charlie, visiting this establishment on a nightly basis. My budget centered around how many pitchers I would be able to buy every night.

Needless to say Professional Wrestling became a dead dream at the time drowned by as much Bud Light I could buy.

That’s ok though. I’m now married to a woman who loves me and who I love with my entire being and my dreams are forming around my marriage and my family. Where one dream has died, many more are springing up.

The current dream? I want to be a Freelance writer and web developer. Working for myself when and where I want means spending more time doing what I want to do.

Likely I’ll write more about pro wrestling as part of me will always love what it is and was.

I hope those who read this will share what their dreams are in the comments and as always please click the little heart.

Until next time….