2 Great Tastes that Taste Great Together?

An image from Taylor Swift’s Ticketmaster/Boost campaign

I love Taylor Swift. I love her music maybe more than a grown man should. I especially love that she won her court case against that radio station groper.

And I love UPS. The professionalism of their drivers — especially how they unfailingly pull in their side-view mirrors when parked on Seattle’s narrow streets. My packages arrive on time and (usually) in one piece. And I’m old enough to remember when UPS actually, legally, stood for United Parcel Service.

These are great brand names. Who could argue with that? And I’m sure they each rank high on those lists that rank the power and value of such things. But whose idea was it for them to jump in the big brown truck and go on a roadtrip together? It’s like a weird arranged marriage, or one of those Hollywood couples you see on the cover of a tabloid. Really? What do they see in each other / have in common / talk about over dinner?

Money comes to mind. Duh. Tay Tay and her Big Machine would rather not foot the bill for her latest launch and tour event. UPS saw an opportunity to hitch its brown wagon to one of the most successful pop stars of all time.

Here’s the sales pitch as overheard outside the conference room at HQ:

Taylor delivers! UPS delivers! They should get married!

I’m not buying it. It’s gratuitous and practically unseemly. UPS is old enough to be Taylor’s great grandfather. In terms of cultural cachet, they need her more than she needs them. One could argue about the relative merits of peanut butter vs. chocolate, but UPS is clearly the junior partner in this relationship.

I know, I know, they’ll be fine. Tay Tay gets the bankroll and extra media attention and UPS gets a relatively low-risk corporate sponsorship deal that aligns them with a global powerhouse of pop culture relevance. This is the way the world works. I don’t want to come across as one of those haters.

For the record, I’ve already preordered her new album. I don’t know if brown is her color, but I’ll be standing by my front door waiting for the UPS truck, secretly hoping to see Taylor behind the wheel.

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