Congratulations Tay-Tay!

Taylor’s recent win in her countersuit against Sleazy Radio Guy seems like the right time to share our dating story. Boy, do I miss her. What I don’t miss are the bouts of walking pneumonia I used to battle. Though in hindsight, that was a small price to pay in exchange for dating one of the world’s most successful and best-loved recording artists. Yeah, a little walking pneumonia just goes with the territory when you’re Taylor Swift’s boyfriend.

If you’ve ever listened to her songs — and how could you not have — then you already know there’s nothing Taylor likes more than kissing in the rain — out on the street, standing outside the car, getting wet in parking lots, behind churches, she doesn’t care. Luckily, she’s always had a stronger immune system than me.

And let’s not forget dancing, too. Dancing and kissing in the rain in the middle of the parking lot. Yeah. That’s why she used to love visiting me here in Seattle. The rain. I swear, she was in a constant state of arousal when she was here, creatively and otherwise. Which is great, but exhausting, too. We never slept much. Whenever it rained in the middle of the night, she would wake me up and drag me outside so that we could kiss and dance in the rain. That’s why I was always sick. Tay-Tay used to say I could sleep when summer comes.

When folks find out we dated, of course they want to know what it was like. I just tell them it was, like, awesome. And easy, too, because we had so much in common. We liked the same music—mostly hers—and she got my jokes and knew my dreams, too. All anyone has to do is listen to her music from back then. It’s all right there in her songs. Songs she wrote herself. She just seemed to understand me. And in the middle of the night, she made me laugh when I wanted to cry.

Some of my friends, mostly the ones who never had a chance to meet her, still doubt that Tay-Tay and I were actually an item. But we all know that tune by heart: Doubters gonna doubt. Haters gonna hate. I don’t care. I was all in. But all that touring is hard on a relationship. In the end, she broke my heart.

Tay-Tay, if you read this, congratulations on the win. Also, please know that I’m still trying to figure out how to be something you miss. I guess I never thought we’d have a last kiss. Because when you’re 50 and someone tells you they love you, you’re gonna believe them. Mwah.

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