Everything Wrong with @MoonPie’s Twitter Account

Everybody needs to get their heads out of the sugar and realize what @MoonPie is actually doing on Twitter.


Hi I’m the Chief Social Media Strategy Out-of-touch-with-my-actual-customers BigShot at Dusty Old Strategy Group Inc., in the coolest cubicle-laden office this side of 140 characters.

You might have had a Moon Pie in your youth, or maybe you are a youth, but nobody can deny the blatant notoriety @MoonPie gained at the expense of other brands during the Eclipse™ of August 2017. I’m here to say what everyone is thinking but won’t have the cream filling to say it.

Exhibit A:

The complete disregard for full sentences. The audacity to take a risk. This is madness! When you’ve been marketing for longer than it takes to make a grande chai tea latte, 3 pump, skim milk, lite water, no foam, extra hot, you know what works. So why would you need to push it?

Here’s another one of their monstrosities.

Exhibit B:

Now with this one, they’ve broken the Social Ninja’s Code©. That is, proved ROI. Us gurus have been able to secure big budgets for years on end without needing to show that it’s working. Think of the ramifications for this. Accountability? Attribution? The threat of losing your retainer just because some kid with an excel doc can do simple math and bust you out of your incumbency?!

You see, us here at Dusty Old Strategy Group, can’t stand for this. It is for that reason we are asking you to take a pledge. The #StayDusty pledge: to prevent the furthering of these dangerous, out-of-this-world ideas that Moon Pie represents, and stick to the traditions that my father and his father before him set forth when this company was founded:

“Let the dust settle on the GLOW of our competitors.”