Only When They Burn

Author’s note: this story is part of a series. You can probably follow this story as-is, but if you’re curious about the rest, start here.

Amelia had lied to one angel, right before threatening him, only to find herself lying to a different angel. Somehow, though, she felt like it would be much more foolish to threaten Cedarwood. Either he was telling the truth, and he belonged to a much higher order than her old mentor, Oriel, or he was lying. If he was lying, then Amelia had no idea what his rules of engagement might be.

For now, she hovered in front of him in her little sister’s bedroom. Tonight, Melanie’s nightmares did not wake her, but Amelia had nonetheless learned to pace herself on nights like this. Just because she was able to explore her sister’s nightmares at length, it didn’t mean it was good for her. For example, she had just watched a group of cannibals descend upon a family hiding behind a barricade. Just as the barricade shattered, Amelia had yelled for Cedarwood to bring her back to the waking world. He had been prompt as ever. Like she did after every dream walk, she now took a moment to collect herself.

“Anything new?” asked Cedarwood.

“No,” she said, “just the usual mayhem. It’s hard to make sense out of anything when they just run around like animals.”

That was only a partial lie. She had not learned anything new that night, but she had learned plenty over the last few dream walking sessions. None of it left her especially inclined to trust the angels, hence the lying. Still, she needed information out of Cedarwood, so she offered him a morsel of truth.

“One thing is that I haven’t seen any churches. The people in that city don’t seem to worship…well, anything.”

Cedarwood nodded.

“I suppose that gives us some hint about their behavior. Not even any private shrines?”

“Not that I’ve seen.”

“Odd…very odd.”

“Cedarwood?”

“Yes?”

“This may seem like a strange question…but have you ever met the Highest?”

The dim angel blinked with his mouth open.

“I…you know, that’s actually a fair question. The simple answer is yes, but probably not in the sense you’re picturing. Why do you ask?”

“Well,” said Amelia, “in life, I was always taught we had to have faith. Some people got prophecies or visions or whatnot, but most of us just had to trust that God was there even though we couldn’t see him. I guess what I’m wondering is this: if God just left one day, how would anyone know?”

Cedarwood’s eyes went wide. He tilted his head back the way a teacher does when a pupil has almost grasped their lesson.

“Now that’s an even better question! How would anyone know? Do you think that’s what’s happened in that city?”

“I have no idea,” she said, “but it would explain a lot.”

That was another lie.

“Highest be praised,” said Cedarwood, “if that’s what He means to communicate through these prophecies…well, I suppose we should at least be grateful He’s giving us fair warning.”

Amelia did not like the look on Cedarwood’s face. Everything from the toes on his feet to the curls on his head was cloaked in the darkness of the night, since he did not glow like other angels, but still she spotted something shining in his eyes. Was he amused by all this? Eager to learn more? How could he be? She could see his lips fighting to lie down in a pensive frown, but those eyes betrayed him. She shook her head and huffed.

“What an awful thought. It can’t be that. We’ll just have to keep dream walking.”

Cedarwood gestured to Melanie.

“Shall I send you back in?”

Amelia shook her head.

“No more tonight. I need a break.”

Cedarwood gave a deferential bow.

“Of course, sister. In that case, I have some other business to attend to. I should be back the day after tomorrow.”

Amelia watched as Cedarwood flew through her sister’s window and out into the night. She heard sheets rustling and looked back to see Melanie sitting up.

“Another bad dream?”

Her little black curls bobbed as she nodded.

“There, there,” said Amelia.

She floated over to her sister and positioned herself as if she were sitting on the bed. She held out a finger. Melanie reached out and brushed her finger tip. This was their gesture, since Amelia’s ectoplasm would give her a chill if there was any more contact than that.

“I wish I could hug you like Mama,” said Melanie.

“I know,” said Amelia.

“I love you just like Mama.”

“I know that too.”

Amelia sometimes wondered if her little sister would still be able to break her heart so easily if she herself was still alive. Perhaps not. She had seen how living sisters could fight, and she knew how young women her age could get caught up in themselves. Hadn’t she? Wouldn’t Melanie, one day? Either way, Amelia would always be her guardian angel. Even now, the thing that bothered her most about her dealings with the other angels was how they distracted her from that very duty. Still, she had to get to the bottom of these dreams so Melanie could have a normal life. Amelia fished out her necklace and held forth the pendant for her sister to see.

“You still have yours?”

Melanie smiled and pulled out her own, darker version of the same necklace. Whatever else Cedarwood was up to, he was right about these gifts. Since putting them on, neither sister had seen or heard anything from the other guardians.

“I’m going to go visit a friend tomorrow,” said Amelia. “I won’t be gone very long, but I need you to promise to keep this on the whole time, all right?”

“I promise!” said Melanie. “I wear it all the time!”

“That’s right, because you’re a very good girl. Would you like me to sing you a lullaby while you go back to sleep?”

Melanie sank down into the covers and cooed.

“Yes, please.”

Amelia sang, and her sister drifted into sleep. This time, it was peaceful.

###

Finding Eugene Henderson’s home address had taken most of the morning, since Amelia couldn’t flip through a phone book herself and instead had to look over the shoulders over others flipping through theirs. When she at last found his home, she had two strokes of luck. The first was that Eugene’s home was now very much his workshop as well, since one of his partners was long dead and the other had wiped their laboratory clean. The second was that Eugene’s son, Bryon, was as fond of his glowing, green, ghost-spotting goggles as ever. He happened to be wearing them as Amelia floated into Eugene’s office, which was half buried in machine parts, schematics, models, and books. The boy, handsome and walnut wood brown like his father, pointed at her and yelled.

“Daddy! Daddy that angel ghost is back!”

Eugene was at his desk, working on a schematic. He scooted back his chair and turned to his son.

“Amelia? Shoot, son, good thing you had those things on. Here, let me see.”

Byron handed the goggles to his father, who slipped them on himself.

“Pleasure seeing you again,” he said, bowing for Amelia. “Scuttlebutt is the angels have been looking all over for you and your sister. They’ll be so relieved — ”

“Actually, that’s what I need your help with,” she said. “I need to get a message out to them, but I’m not exactly ready for them to find me. To be honest, I wasn’t even sure if you’d be able to see me…”

She rubbed her hand against her chest, feeling the hard lump of her necklace but deciding not to show it to Eugene. She had to assume whatever she told him would find its way to the guardians, whether she included it in her letter or not.

“You mean you’re hiding from them?” said Eugene. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“It’s complicated. Can you please grab a fresh sheet of paper? I was composing this letter on my way over and I want to get it down while it’s fresh.”

“Sure, as long as you don’t mind me asking a few follow-up questions.”

As Amelia spoke, Eugene transcribed. The letter read thus:

Dear Oriel,

First, I want you to know that Melanie and I are safe. At least, we are as safe as anyone can be. I am still deeply sorry for how I acted last time we spoke, but what was I supposed to do? You were going to take Melanie away from the family to study her dreams, and I simply could not allow that.

Lucky for all of us, I met another angel who could help me understand her dreams without taking her away. He is a Dominion, and though he disagrees with the guardians’ methods he seems to respect our order as a whole. I had planned from the beginning to share our findings with you, and I doubt he would have any problem with that.

That brings me to the main point of this letter. The following is a description of everything I’ve learned from Melanie’s dreams. My hope is that you can work with the others to make sense of these things and report back to me through Mr. Henderson.

In Melanie’s dreams, there is a city named Calcorrem. Many of the people there have been driven to madness and spend their days committing random acts of violence and lust. Those who are still sane live desperate lives hiding from the others. I have learned from talking to these people that the city was designed by angels but built by human slaves. They say the trouble all began when the Highest left, and the angels took it upon themselves to rule over their “lessers.” Now, though, the angels have left the people mostly on their own, and nobody is quite sure why.

As you probably know already, Melanie is having these dreams because she has the gift of prophecy, and prophecies are meant to show the future. But this future is so wrong! I can’t imagine such things happening in our world. That is why I need your help. Please tell me that these awful visions are some sort of illusion, or that there’s something we can do to make sure the Highest stays with us.

Yours truly,

The Angel Ameliel

Amelia hoped the joke at the end would help soothe Oriel’s anger and prove to him it was really her. It helped also that the letter would not communicate any of the sniffles and sobs in her dictation. Finally saying these things aloud only sharpened how awful they were. Eugene set down his pen and shook his head.

“Girl, what have you gotten yourself mixed up in?”

“I don’t know,” said Amelia, brushing her face with her hands, “I’m just trying to figure out what these dreams mean so I can make them go away. She’s seven years old! She shouldn’t have to see things like this!”

“Care to hear my theory?”

“Please.”

“I think this other angel, whom you are so careful not to name, is playing you like a flute.”

That brought Amelia’s crying to a dead halt. She stared at him, annoyed that she couldn’t see his eyes through the green glow of the goggles.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“I mean I don’t buy for one second that what you’re seeing in those dreams is some vision of the future. God don’t work like that. More importantly, people don’t work like that either.”

Amelia just kept staring. She was trying to choose between confused, angry, or some mixture of the two. Eugene gestured towards his son.

“People who look like us have a, well, let’s call it a prime vantage point for seeing the worst side of people. That’s why I’ll be the first to tell you that people can do some nasty things when somebody or something riles them up.”

Of all the lecturers she had met, Amelia enjoyed Eugene the most, but she was still not exactly in the mood.

“But…” she said.

“But, that’s just it: people need something to rile them up before they get nasty. Otherwise, they’re just people…”

He turned to look at his son, then, who had been tinkering away at a small box. Just as his father looked over, the box began to play a sparkling little song, and the boy beamed.

“…and when people are just people, they’re beautiful.”

He turned back to Amelia then.

“That’s why those angels in — what did you call it, Calcorrem? — They’ve got to be riling up those people something fierce.”

Amelia considered this. How many times had she heard those people say, “It’s our fault”? And how many of them had credited the angels with letting them know?

“Look,” said Eugene, “all I’m saying is do your homework on that other angel friend of yours. For all you know, he’s just trying to rile you up too.”

“You’re right, Eugene. He always says he has ‘other business to attend to’ when we part ways. Next time, I’ll follow him and see where he goes.”

“Be careful,” he said. “Whatever you do, don’t let him catch you. The last thing you need is two angry angels chasing after you.”

Amelia nodded. Byron ran up to his father then and tapped him on the shoulder.

“Is she leaving? Daddy let me say bye first!”

Eugene chuckled.

“Sure thing Byron. Good-bye for now, Amelia.”

He slipped off the goggles and handed them to his son. Byron didn’t even bother tightening and buckling the strap. Instead, he just held the goggles up to his face and grinned up at Amelia.

“Bye Amelia. You should come over more!”

“Should I?” she said, smiling despite herself. “How come?”

“Because you’re very pretty, and I like you, and my daddy made these special goggles so I could see you.”

Eugene laughed so hard he nearly fell out of his chair. Amelia found herself giggling too.

“That’s right son, that’s why your daddy made those. Lord have mercy…”

“Thank you, Bryon,” Amelia said. “I will make sure I visit more often. You’re a handsome boy and you’re very sweet too.”

With that, Amelia curtseyed and floated home.

###

The next night, after another dream walking session, Amelia followed Cedarwood as he flew out of her family’s home. He went along at a leisurely pace, floating just above the heads of the few people still wandering the streets — the tipplers, the homeless, and the police officers who hounded both of the former. Amelia floated up by the rooftops so she could keep an eye on Cedarwood and duck behind a chimney or a gargoyle if he ever turned around. They floated through the factory district, where the haze was at its thickest, and through the still bustling financial district where Amelia spotted a police officer outlining a body in chalk. She shivered. Even in life she had not enjoyed venturing this far into the city. She could find adventure enough in her own neighborhood, out where it was cleaner and quieter. Death only made it easier to see the city’s horrors, since the city could no longer see her and thus no longer had any shame. It wasn’t Calcorrem, but it made her wonder how much it would really take for her city to one day resemble that one.

Cedarwood floated into the seventh floor of an office building and Amelia stopped. She wouldn’t be able to follow him directly anymore, since she’d have to follow so close that he’d be sure to spot her. Instead, she floated down into the entry hall. There she found a directory and checked the seventh floor. “Dietrichson Pharmaceuticals,” she read. She floated through handsome, wood-panelled hallways and brass-banistered stairwells until she reached the Dietrichson offices, then checked their own directory.

“Ralph Khomiakov,” she whispered to herself, tracing his name with her finger, “703.”

Even before she could reach office 703, she heard voices. It appeared to be the only office occupied at such a late hour, and indeed it was the only one with the lights on. As she neared the door, she slipped under the floorboards so she could listen unseen. She did not recognize the first voice she heard. It was low and hoarse, with an accent as cold as its mother country.

“You alone understand, my friend. You see the wretchedness of man. Why is it so hard to shake them from their blindness? They sin and suffer, suffer and sin, and never see the wheels they turn in.”

“It is a lack of shame, my dear Ralph,” said Cedarwood, “even the most broken among them only feels the shame as an ache, and they have so many ways of numbing it. When our mission is complete, they will feel their shame like a man on fire feels the flames.”

“Yes…yes! That is what they need, you’re so right. Only when they burn will they seek the water of the holy spirit.”

There was a pause, and in that pause Amelia thought back through everything she knew about this Ralph Khomiakov. He had worked with Mathias and Eugene to invent the ecto-lock technology, though he was the first one to get the idea. The guardians claimed that Khomiakov had gotten inspiration for the project from a demon, which would explain why he had murdered one of his partners then cut them both out of the deal when he partnered with Dietrichson Pharmaceuticals. Yet, here he was talking about sin and holiness — to an angel, no less. Amelia kept listening.

“Last time we spoke,” said Cedarwood, “you mentioned remorse. Have you given that any more thought?”

“Yes…yes I have. Mathias was a brilliant man, but he did not have his heart pointed to heaven. His heart pointed back to his own mind, you see. Though he was respectable, he was not holy, and in that way he was falling short of his destiny.”

“And do you feel you helped to correct that?”

“…Some men are beyond the help of other men…I still pray his soul will find rest, and not only so that he’ll stop interfering!”

Amelia shook her head. Why was Cedarwood asking about Mathias? She heard a chair scrape against the floor, and she could almost picture Ralph squirming in his discomfort.

“Enough about that. Tell me about the next phase of our mission. I grow tired of the medical business. I don’t know how many more dirty hands I can shake.”

“I’ve told you many times, Ralph, all you need to do is make sure the ecto-lock technology spreads. Anaesthetics was an inspired choice. It’s helping to legitimize the practice. Give it a few more years, and we can open it up to recreational use.”

Ralph made an odd spitting sound.

“Recreation? You mean like those criminal miscreants who’ve been using it to…ugh, I can’t even say it! How can you, an angel, approve of such a thing?”

“Because it is a necessary stepping stone. I promise I will explain more when the time is appropriate. Can’t you trust me, old friend? Was I not the one who first brought you this technology? And look at how far we’ve come…”

Amelia floated out of the building and down into the street below. She shook her head so hard that her black curls whipped her in her glowing, green face. This was impossible. It was a demon, not angel, that inspired the ecto-lock technology. The guardians would never lie about that. Unless…unless…

She froze. Then she flew as fast as she could back home, back to Melanie, praying with every ounce of her being that she would get there before Cedarwood returned.