Cancelled

I am an invisible man. No, I am not a spook like those who haunted Edgar Allan Poe; nor am I one of your Hollywood-movie ectoplasms. I am a man of substance, of flesh and bone, fiber and liquids — and I might even be said to possess a mind. I am invisible, understand, simply because people refuse to see me. Ralph Ellison.

I was cancelled long before it came into vogue.

The first cancellation that I am aware of came when Ray Carless booked me to join him in the horn section for a European tour with Reggae band Misty in Roots sometime in the mid-90’s.

I’d been a fan of the band since my teens and was thrilled when he booked me. At that time, I had played with many of my Reggae heroes such as Gregory Isaacs, Dennis Brown, Sugar Minott, Max Romeo, Tamlins, Abyssinians, and lots of others. Ray had booked me for the first big name Reggae gig I did which was with Alton Ellis who sang some of my favourite Studio One classics like ‘I’m Still In Love’ and ‘It’s Too Late’.

So, when the Misty tour came in, I was rearing to go. Lord knows I needed the work. I was in my 20’s, living in London as a musician, getting by week by week and gig by gig.

But just before the tour was due to start, Ray called me. “Sorry Sean, the gig is off”. But he didn’t mean off-off, he meant off for me. “The band says no white guys on this one.” So, I was blown out. Ray still went on the tour. When I called the Musicians Union to complain they did not want to know. It was awkward for them. I wonder how many more times that happened without me knowing?

I know it wasn’t a one off. In fact, I once got a call from PJ and Duncan’s management who went through a whole rigmarole of giving me dates and details for a tour but at the end of the conversation suddenly remembered to ask ‘You are black right?’ they sounded gutted when I replied ‘Not really.’ They apologised, said it was all a mistake so scratch the booking. Ant and Dec wanted a black band for this one. Those crazy guys.

The next deletion I remember was when a journalist called Tom Barlow wrote a piece for Jazzwise magazine and just totally ghosted me.

He’d arranged to write a piece about the Tomorrow’s Warriors band that I was in alongside Soweto Kinch, Eska Mtungwazi, Tom Skinner, Dave Okumu, Andrew McCormack and Tom Herbert. A precocious line-up.

This ensemble was the second generation of Tomorrow’s Warriors, coming after the J-Life line-up led by Jason Yarde, and we were assembled before the crew that went on to form the outstanding Empirical with altoist Nathaniel Facey and supremely swinging drummer Shane Forbes.

We had a residency at the Jazz Café in Camden, playing every Sunday afternoon for a couple over a year. That weekend I was away with Finley Quaye, so missed the interview.

When it was published, I did not get a mention. Nothing. Not even my name in the line-up. What kind of music writer produces a feature and doesn’t even make sure he knows who is in the band they’re writing about?

When I bumped into him in the Effra jazz pub in Brixton a short while after, he got very nervy and went all red in the face. He offered to do a feature on me to make up for it. I told him that was ridiculous and that I didn’t think I warranted an individual feature. Maybe he thought I was crap and shouldn’t be in the band, or perhaps he had simply ‘forgotten’ to mention I was a member. Either way, it was a poor show.

Next up is the omission from the Jazz Warriors roll call that appears online . I am unsure who wrote it, but the last person I saw share it was Cleveland Watkiss. I recorded on the second Jazz Warriors album that was shelved due to infighting. I played on every track but one. The trumpet section I played in on that record included Colin Graham, David Mian, Byron Wallen, Kevin Robinson and myself in various combinations. I am not sure what that is all about. Go figure.

However, the expunction I was most sore about, is the absence of my name on the list of Tomorrow’s Warriors alumni on their website. Having been involved with the first line up along with Jason Yarde, Julie Dexter, Darren Taylor, Robert Mitchell, and Daniel Crosby, I also went on to join Gary Crosby’s Nu Troop, and the next generation of TW’s that I mention above. I also worked as TW’s first education officer and helped develop the vision and lay foundations for work they are doing to this day. But, it seems I am persona non grata. And that’s OK.

I know others who have been overlooked in a similar way and I am in good company. I am not entirely sure what is behind it. But, what I do know is that I have never been one to suck up to people in order to get somewhere. I’ve had some of the greatest musicians in the world take interest in me over the years and have developed friendships that endure to this day, so at this stage in my life I am not as resentful about any of this as I was. I am a heretic, a seeker of truth, and I remain close friends with people I have known since we were little boys in a gritty Northern working-class town, and when I see them I don’t look over their shoulder to see if there’s somebody more important to schmooze with. And I hate canapes. Do you know what I mean?