Why I Never Understood Feminism
Growing up, my parents made it very hard for me to understand the idea of feminism as it exists today…
I won’t get into it all, but let me try to help you understand what it was like for me by telling you about one of my parents:
This parent:
Went back to school twice while raising two young kids & working full-time.
They have a masters degree, 2 bachelors degrees & probably even an associates degree or two (Yes I’m serious).
The degrees they have are in Art, Graphic Design, Computer Science, Electrical Engineering…yep, art & engineering.
This parent spent time in the Air Force Reserve. Jumped out of freakin’ planes.
Speaking of art, they are established artists, talented at drawing, painting, photography, charcoals, etc. they have even dabbled in sculpture. They play the guitar are skilled in carpentry & can build computers,
They do home renovations & fix & build all kinds of things.
An avid surfer who’s worked as a photographer for a skiing magzine as well as done IT for a semiconductor company.
From to crash-landing a hang-glider,to even inventing a tool to help you tie balloons…To creating artful graphic design…
I’m not finished.
They ski double black diamonds with ease. & a few of their (many many) hobbies include: surfing, rock-climbing, hiking, swimming, tennis, mountain biking & road biking.
& these days? They’re working hard on mastering high risk currency trading.
This parent is also barely 5 feet tall & 110 lbs.
Yeah, you guessed it. The person I described above is my wonderful & amazing mother, Lisa.
When I hear that women are so put down & disparaged…that they can’t do what men can do because men & society are holding them down..I feel genuinely concerned, but also..sort of incredulous. Skeptical.
Becasue my mother sure as hell never let anybody hold her down. She was born in the 50’s for God’s sake.
She never talked about ‘feminism’. She just lived it.
With all that my mother’s accomplished, how she’s lived her life on her terms…done so many things…I swear sometimes I blush, embarassed for women who (understandably) assume that my educated, worldly, strong & independent mother must be a huge anti-male feminist & try to engage her in that kind of dialogue.
She would say “It’s tougher for women. Sure. The solution? Work harder & get what you want in spite of it. If you want something, you go get it. It might be hard…so what?”
There will always be people getting in your way. Even if men and women were equal tomorrow, the world is still a cut-throat & competitive. There will still be bullies, domineering people, etc.
Just becasue some people are domineering & bossy doesn’t mean you let them dominate you or bossy you around.
You tell them “No. Fuck you.”
Everyone’s been pushed around. You have to push back & push through. Don’t let it break you. We all get pushed around sometimes, we all fall.
If someone tells you that you can’t do something, you say “Fuck you.”
and then — You. Do. It.
So that’s the story of why feminism is hard for me to understand.
It’s my mom’s fault. :)