When I was first born, she looked at my face and knew her life would never be the same. She taught me that I could be loved, even when I had nothing to give in return.
When I was a toddler, she smiled even though her heart stopped beating every time I fell down or slept too soundly. She would hold me when I needed it and let me explore the world, even when it scared her. She taught me that loving someone could physically hurt and heal at the same time.
When I started kindergarten, she cried, but not until I was out the door. The last baby to leave, she didn’t want me to be away from her, but she knew I could succeed and didn’t want her doubts to hold me back. She taught me to be confident in myself and my abilities — that I could do anything.
When I started junior high, she held me on the nights that I cried myself to sleep because I was being bullied. She taught me that I couldn’t give people the power to define my identity — that was something God and I should do together.
When I started high school, she stood back and watched, allowing me to find my own way and live my own life. She let me fall on my face, and she let me soar to great heights. She taught me that there’s a time to be responsible for yourself, and learn from your own mistakes.
When I started college, she let me feel like she had melted into the background, even though she was beside me all along. She allowed me to figure out who I was, a wall of protecting prayers carefully in place around me. She taught me that I still had a lot to learn.
When I got married, she wasn’t ready. Her last baby making a life-long decision at 21 was bittersweet, but a blessing all the same. She taught me to relish the life I’d built for myself and to enjoy the journey as well as the destination.
When I had my first child, she witnessed the circle of life take place before her eyes, and it was good. She taught me how to be a good mom, and how to be confident with who I am and where I am.
Halfway through my own parentage, I can see life fleeting before my eyes. Now she is teaching me to love every moment and do what makes me happy. Don’t spend time on things that aren’t fulfilling. Always behave in a way that will make your future self proud. Rely on God instead of people. Stay present.
“All that I am, or hope to be — I learned from my mother.” -Abraham Lincoln
Thanks, Mom. Happy Mother’s Day. ❤
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Secret Coran-Stacy is an author, entrepreneur, and artist living the dream as a middle class suburbanite in Central Arkansas. Find out more by visiting www.secretstacy.com