Good morning Mr Farmer

Well I was awake, it was 6.45am and I was wide awake, in the summer I often find that I wake up with the morning birdsong and i’ve been trying to make use of the day by then actually doing something at that time not just roll over and go back to sleep.

I’d walked this route a few days ago with my dog so why not head there now, I pulled on my loose shorts and shirt walked, slipped on a pair of shoes and left my house, jumped in the car and off I went. As I usually do, off came the shorts pretty much right away as I drove to start of this walk, about 10 uneventful minutes later I was parking up and taking off my shirt, there you go naked in my car and it felt amazing. I debated about leaving my clothes in the car and just going, but where would I put my key, so I didn’t, maybe thats for another day but for now I just held onto them and left my car by the side of the road and joined the path.

I definitely had a chilly morning for this, but it kept me walking briskly swinging freely and that as i’ve written about before just feels amazing, I walked over the footpath bridge and onto the track alongside a grassy field. As I was walking my eyes and senses were so awake, listening to the birds and seeing a rabbit or squirrel scurry along the path infront of me. I wonder what they thought of this naked man, had they ever seen any naked humans?

The path followed the fields and then dropped down to go under the dual carriageway, on the drop down i’d be cleary visible from the road but i didnt worry as they were speeding past and if they saw me it would only be momentary and anyway who cares. I went down the track and paused, wondering if a truck who may be slower could see from the road, I guess not — i didnt get a hoot anyhow. I carried on going down and the path then goes under a tunnel with the noisy road above, I walked through not knowing what was on the other side, the noise was tremendous of the road above but i’d made it and guess what more farm track, so I paused and took it in, the noise from above and which track to go down.

The morning air was warming a bit which was noticeable if you’re naked, and now I had a choice, choice 1 was down another track, or choice 2 through a forest. I chose 2 as it wasn’t downhill it was pretty steady and off I walked. In this forest there was more wildlife, looking at me naked. I walked on with my body begining to glisten until for some reason I stopped and decided to turn around and go back the way I came.

I was part way through the tunnel when I looked down at myself and admired myself naked and was starting to think if I should make it more challenging next time, it was at that moment I heard the hoot of a vehicle, that couldn’t be, the noisy road was above me, as I’d just got to the end of the tunnel I heard the vehicle behind, literally right behind me, a scruffy red pickup with a man driving. I didn’t have time to react as he pulled up alongside; the conversation went a bit like this…

‘good morning mr farmer’

‘what are you doing butt naked lad’

‘well I just walk nude cos I like it and not offending anyone, but i’ll put my shorts on now’

‘nah dont do that’ he said ‘ i think you should stay naked’

‘ah ok, you dont mind then’

He was checking me out, I was sure of it, his eyes looking me over and I wasnt quite sure how to feel about that.

‘in all my years as a farmer i’d thought i’d seen everything, until now, thank you’

‘er ok’ said I as I stood there by the side of a red pickup, naked.

‘you do this often then’

‘i like to get out and about when it’s warm and no one else around, I just enjoy it and as I said hopefully no offending anyone, i’m nude not lude’

‘you’re not offending me, in fact i’m quite enjoying it and thinking if i’m going to tell my farm staff about the naked lad we had on our farm, if I did would they even believe me?’

Ok so now I didnt know where this was going, I was naked having a conversation with a middle age farmer sat in his pickup…

‘er I dont know, I have got clothes here though’ as I held up my hand..

‘oh yeah, but you’re not wearing them are you’

‘no i’m not’ I said..

he smiled; ‘enjoy the rest of your day, hope to bump into you again’

And with that he drove off up the hill and I just stood there, what the fuck had just happened, I turned and walked up the hill he’d just driven up with a massive smile on my face, I could feel my body glisten and everything swing in appreciation.

At the top of the hill the farmer man was out of the pickup and looked like he was checking on some hay bales, I waved and he waved back as I walked on. Had I just made a friend or had I just made someones day — who knows? Either way I walked back down the path with an extra spring in my step, what a morning and I hadn’t even had breakfast yet.

It wasnt far to my car, maybe 10 minutes and I stood by it naked and just laughed, what a morning, what a blast — time to go home now, so shorts and shirt on, get it the car.

Until next time…