Great News, Everyone! The CIA Has Promised To Become “Much More Vicious”!
Caitlin Johnstone

My Sweet Overlords,

Please note my maximum 50 claps (one for each state, Puerto Rico doesn’t count of course). To be as clear as American superpower and as intelligent as the U.S. of Awesome leadership on steroids, the claps are not, could not possibly be, for Caitlin Johnstone, who is known to be Unamerican. No, it’s for you guys, Mike, and this whole idea of stepping up your game. I can’t wait for your team to bash my apartment door down in the middle of the night, toss my cheap IKEA furniture aside, and flick my life away with a wrist attached to your latest torture devices. Livestream it, ok? Violate my rights like I’ve never been violated. I am a free man, hear me roar. Love you guys. And love your patriotic savagery. It’s all about the Tough Love. Red, White and Bruise. These colors don’t run, baby.

One clap, two clap, three clap, forty?

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