10/25/17: Mellow

Yesterday I had dinner with my dad and stepmom on their final night in LA. I liked that they understood my desire for a better work life. They know I wouldn’t do anything hasty at the same time. My dad especially has come a long way in that department. My stepmom did ask me, “how do you feel about work when you wake up in the morning?” My response: “I want to call in sick, but I don’t.”

It’s not that it’s bad, but it’s not good. It’s drab and somewhat soul-sucking and feels like a video factory, vs being able to put a lot of thought and heart into what I’m doing. We are editing machines. I don’t want to edit anymore for anyone else. I want to create videos for myself, not worrying about numbers and metrics and sales goals and all that corporate shit.

I have been sleeping better though. Staying off social media for the most part, watching Friends and Everwood instead of dark and depressing shows, swimming or walking after dinner, have all helped.

My dreams are still really weird though. Last night I dreamt that I had taken Pepe to the vet, and I brought him home, but a couple days later I realized they gave me back the wrong cat. They could no longer find him and I was devastated, thinking he is out there in the world all alone. Anyone want to take a stab at that one? :)

I’m still feeling the addiction to simple carbs (hello Halloween candy), and I’m still getting headaches and ocular migraines almost daily. Going to see my doctor about that soon, but I’m sure his answer will be throw antidepressants or other drugs at me without considering what the root cause may be.

I’m also still doing daily morning yoga (about 10 minutes) and for the most part my daily Calm.com meditation, although sometimes I sacrifice that to get to work 10 minutes early so I can leave 10 minutes early.

That’s all I got for today!

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