It is not by chance that I wrote this listening to the eternal words of Seinabo Sey in her song titled “Still”.
“I’m no fool”*
No, I’m not, and neither are you. For both of us, finding each other at the time we did was what our lives needed, maybe even more than the oxygen that drives our existence, or the blood coursing through our veins, that ensures we will glimpse the sun tomorrow when it rises in the east in all its glory.
Yes, I needed you. Yes, you needed me. But that time has come and gone. Whatever hurts drove us into each other’s arms; whatever holes our hearts bore with terror and pride, have healed. Maybe it was always meant to be like this; maybe poison does cure poison after all.
I am glad to have shared a part of my life with you that wouldn’t have been possible with anyone else, but I truly “no longer need your rescue”*. Maybe the world will judge us as callous, or me, but no one ever sees the end of a dream until it comes; we live our stories with no knowledge of how they end, even though we always hope for the best. Sometimes, this “best” we hope for is turning away, looking on, moving on, letting go.
Make no mistake about it, these words are riddled with pain, sprinkled with regrets, but I have lived long enough to know what lasts and what doesn’t; what will live on, even when the sands of time have buried our footprints in this world.
“Time has come to close the show”*
That our song ends like this
Does not mean it was without melody
It does not mean
We didn’t dance under the stars
Or make promises of forever
It does not mean our words lacked truth
It only means
Our deepest hopes failed to take root
The green shoots of our love never bloomed
Flowers that would have held all in awe
You’re no fool
Neither am I
So our hearts won’t go still with fear
No, it won’t go still
Like when all hope leaves a room
In all of this
We found ourselves
Healed our souls
Found salvation from the throes of our sorrow
Caught a glimpse of tomorrow
Our beautiful tomorrow.
*Lyrics of “Still” by Seinabo Sey.
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