What I Found on My Diary…
It’s been months.
And if you ask me, yes, that was my last depressed cry.
Alhamdulillah.
Alhamdulillah.
Alhamdulillah.
Allah gave me knowledge about this world that some people my age don’t have.
And Alhamdulillah.
It melts my heart real bad than anything.
Than gifts from people on my birthday
Than birthday surprises.
Than warm hugs my friends gave me when i cry.
Yes, my heart melts by Allah’s love.
I was a bastard.
That i didn’t realize many things Allah gave me.
That i didn”t realize He put me in many situations.
That i didn’t realize His love for me.
Alhamdulillah,
Allah let me have this knowledge about the temporary world when i was starting to be misguided.
When i always look for other people’s blessings instead of mine.
I got this knowledge on my birthday.
And Alhamdulillah,
Allah shows me what ‘get older’ really means.
And as i say, it’s surely not ‘everybody has it’ kind of thing.
I am so grateful i know this when i was 14.
This year is a joy.
I found Allah.
The main reason i don’t cry for things i don’t have.
The main reason i stopped hating people.
The main reason i woke up in the morning with huge spirit.
The main reason i don’t hate monday anymore. In fact, i never did.
The main reason i love going to school.
The main reason why i’m so pumped up to understand school subjects.
The main reason i change my point of view 180◦
The main reason i don’t blame my parents for not having everything.
And the feeling is just so beautiful.
I hope everyone in this world can feel this.
So they can stop complaining.
So they can stop thinking that having pricy things is the real blessing.
Because everything they have, important or not, is a blessing.
At this new point of view,
I realized that i thought i love pricy things. I didn’t. It’s just what the media taught me to love.
In fact, i love very little things that other people might not even recognized.
I just want people to know.
That the eyes we have to read this,
The hands we use to hold our gadgets,
The skin that we always take care of,
The body that we take care so that it looks the way we want it,
Are going to be the first thing that leaves us when we die.
Only what we did in our life that will accompany us. At least that’s what Islam taught.
And the fact, that we don’t even own it; our body, our foods, our house, our money.
Makes it even worse.
We got this idea that things we bought or spent investment at is what we own.
The fact is, Allah is the owner of all things.
The fact, we don’t have anything.
Everything we have are loans.
Some of us have loans more by the average.
Some of us don’t have much material loans.
And the sad reality, those who don’t have much, think they have everything.
While the others that have more, think they got nothing that they always wanting more and more.
And that’s the point of this temporary wealth in this world.
14 years old me,
13 March 2015.
