I’m more than just a piece of meat!

I will not be objectified by any other illusion than that which I have contrived for your narrow mind to indulge in.

Talk about a psychological mind fuck. It’s a test. It separates the pigs from the genuine. It shows people for what they really are and it’s a quick way to whittle down the crowd and determine who you’re not going to waste your time with. It also shows you how people with minimal perceived ‘power’ or ‘control’ or who consider themselves to be of greater value than others treat the people around them. If you’re on the receiving end, yet you intended to be there all along you may find that you are in fact the one in control. And that’s where the fun begins.

You see, when someone believes that they have all the control in any given situation and that you are too simple minded to understand even the word perception, let alone the impact that can have on human interactions, that someone can quickly find them self on the back foot.

The observation of human interactions based on first encounters through visual manipulation, generally using myself as the target object makes for a fascinating experiment. It’s potentially a little bit twisted to mess with minds the way I often do but I guarantee that most people can relate one way or another. Humans by nature are enthralled by their neighbour’s behaviour.

Just because you can’t look past a Porsches lush shiny exterior to see that there are in fact 7 layers of paint on top on an entire chassis which securely holds onto a customised engine made of small parts intricately and carefully engineered to produce the machine that you want to be seen riding in, does not mean that the Porsche is of any less value. And if you can’t look deeper than the facade that’s your problem, not the Porsche’s.

“Don’t ever judge a book by its cover.”

Surprisingly it’s not necessarily the new generation who are so quick to judge. That’s to be expected though I guess, the generation gap is growing and later in life people have a tendency to become settled in their ways, having formed strong opinions through their own lives, based on peer consensus and societal monuments of their time about what they consider things should be like and how they believe people ought to behave. They’re essentially stuck in a mindset, one in particular that young, single, well-dressed, career driven women are exactly that because there is either something wrong with them and they cannot attract a male suitor or that they are out on the prowl.

I love fashion, I love to look good and to be the centre of attention. I like to make heads turn when I walk into a room, who doesn’t like to be noticed and to feel important?

The problem is I’m incredibly shy and self-conscious at the best of times and also experience some mild anxiety when having to open up and talk to new people. I often stand there, nervously speaking as my voice breaks and crackles, wondering if I’m saying the right thing with a million thoughts rushing through my mind. Do they like me? Am I boring? What are they thinking? How should I behave? When should I walk away? I don’t want to be annoying, am I annoying them?

I never like to be the one to approach people but you want to be remembered and you want to be known, how do you get around that? Well, I have absolutely no problem talking to people who approach me. It makes feel accepted and that I am interesting and that I am somewhat important.

So, how? In a room of strong personalities can you guarantee that you’ll be approached? You need to make an impression and if you stand out from the crowd, whether it be a good way or a bad way, people will remember you (not that you generally want to be remembered in a bad way).

It has become apparent that in new groups or secluded circumstances I have unlocked the ability to make an impression such that I stand out enough from the group that some will soon approach me for a conversation. I am not sure yet what it is that gives such an impression, I guess if I knew that I’d be far more successful in social situations.

Social awkward doesn’t stop after first encounters, though. My mind doesn’t just stop thinking all of sudden about the impression I’m giving off and the perception that’s being received — unless there is a glass or two of wine involved of course. But you can’t just be drunk when you meet new people all the time. To overcome the anxiety you need to be confident, find out what it is that makes you tick and that makes you feel stronger as an individual. For me, I like to look good. Simple as that. And I know I can pull of fashion and outfits which others cannot. And I am not going to refrain from doing so simply because some do not approve or cannot see past the exterior.

There is often an assumption that simply because I smile or talk to a certain person or people that I am doing it because I am up for something more. Yet people wonder why I often don’t smile or bother to try and mingle and tend to just wait and see who comes to me. I essentially cannot win and will be judged regardless of what actions I take or how I dress. So, fuck it. I will do what makes me feel good.

Surely it’s not still so unheard of that a single female in her late twenties who dresses well, takes care of her health and is concerned about body image and fashion is not just that because she’s always looking to score. Sexy does not equate to slut. And nor does 6-inch stilettos.

Rule of thumb, if you can walk in them, you can wear them.

I’m focussed, I know what I’m interested in and where I’m going and I sure as hell know my priorities. Just because you see a piece of meat, it doesn’t mean there’s nothing deeper that you simply haven’t engaged yet to see. And if you do see a piece of meat, that probably reflects on the sort of dog that you are.


Originally published at www.selenasmall.com on April 19, 2016.

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