Here’s why we should make things “Talkable” with our Little One
Human mind is amazingly capable of many things. The answers to many of our questions lay inside us. Sometimes it takes a lonely child to adopt an imaginary friend and have him talk to uncover the hidden treasure. The imaginary friend doesn’t tell them immediately of course. The child has to hold a conversation, ask the questions, find out answers and ask further and further. He may not believe right away the answers he got. Then he has to have a mechanism of confirming these in the real world. Talking to parents or teachers? Nah… Observing comes handier when the questions are harder to wordify. The brain picks the right event to make the connection and matches with the conversation that the child had with the inner friend. If you think: there are thousands of small events happening in a day from the child’s eyes, it’s not difficult to find one that can legitimize any hypothesis. Congrats! This is now your child’s brand new truth confirmed with a real life experience/observation. Because this was about something that is not very easy to put into words but rather a complicated topic, the child won’t talk about it. It will stay in his memory and will slowly sink into the sub-conscious.
Sometimes it’s not at all the truth or sometimes it’s a dangerous truth that the child should normally consult an adult’s judgement to use that information. How do we avoid these knowledge (either wrong or dangerous true) sink into the subconscious of the child and cause him make wrong decisions / adopt wrong behaviours?
I believe most of it comes with talking as much as possible. And making things talkable. As a 33 year old parent, even I find somethings difficult to talk about e.g the things I feel weak about myself, or I feel guilty about, embarrassing things I did or happened etc. Because I’d think I’d become less of a person if I talk about these things. In fact this is exactly the opposite. We become less of a healthy person when we don’t talk about them.
How do you make your child know this? How do you encourage him talking? If you have a son this could be even more challenging with a mom given the gender difference and pride of your little boy.
However, no matter how hard it is or it sounds; trying, learning from every try, being patient, and trying again will pay off. If you fail, remember what S. Beckett said: “Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”