The art of Networking
All of us must have heard that networking is critical for success. If you are like me, the term networking would bring up a mental image of suited people hanging out at cocktail parties making small talk while you are miles away tucked in your bed reading a book.
I once had a discussion on this topic with one of my mentors who has 25 years of experience and works as a senior leader for a large organization.
I asked him, “What is networking?”
He responded with another question, “Why are tall skyscrapers usually built in a cluster?”
“Location choice.”, I responded, a bit perplexed.
He said, “Correct, but there is a second reason. When tall buildings are built close to each other, they act as windbreakers for each other, providing mutual stability. In a similar way, achieving success in life could be easier, if as we rise, we help people in our life rise with us. If others have a stake in our success, they are more likely to help us as we face obstacles and resistance along the way. This is the essence of networking.”
I asked him, “How do we do it?”
He said, “You know my gardner right?”
I had noticed that my mentor is usually very friendly with the gardener of the local public park who lived just across the street from his house. He greeted him every morning and chatted with him for several minutes.
He continued, “My gardner is part of my network and we share a mutually beneficial symbiotic friendship. Delhi is not a safe place to live and I have to frequently travel for work. While I am out, this gardner lends me an extra pair of eyes and ears watching over my house. Also, while I am out, he does not hesitate helping out with some of my household chores.”
“He is like a part of my family — he participates in all family events and functions. We keep tab of each other’s family’s well being. Since I am able to afford it, I help him out financially as and when I can — like, I pay for his kid’s school fees.”
I used to think that networking is all about making contacts with people in high places. My mentor’s point was that our drivers, maids, washer-men, gardeners and watchmen are a critical part of our life. Let us give them due respect and help create a good work environment for them. When possible, let us make them a part of our lives and take genuine interest in theirs. When needed, let us help them financially within our own means. Networking starts close to home.
“It seems easy to network with people when you have leverage. However, when it comes to friends and colleagues, what leverage do I have?”, I asked meditatively.
He said, “Let me tell you a story.”
“Fresh out of college, I joined this company with several other of my college batch-mates. We naturally formed a social group and used to hang out after office hours. There was one batch-mate who was not part of this group. For some reason, I had a negative vibe for him — maybe it was because I used to look at him as competition in college.”
“One night, my friends and I were partying after hours and while drinking and smoking was common, this evening, we decided to try something new. I do not remember much of what happened after that. When I woke up, I found myself in a hospital bed with my parents next to me. They told me that this batch-mate of mine, who I did not like, found me lying unconscious with foam coming out of my mouth. My other friends were lying around half unconscious and no one had a clue of what was happening with me. This fellow threw me up on his shoulders and ran over a kilometer in the middle of the night until he could find a rickshaw. He took me to the hospital and then contacted the college authorities who sent for my parents.”
This batch-mate of mine is now a senior leader himself at some firm. We still never socialize. We seldom talk to each other. But, we both know we have each other’s back. We have helped each other on multiple occasions through our career by giving references or putting in a good word about each other’s abilities and character.”
He continued, “It is natural for us to feel jealous of our peers when they do well. However, the world is big and there is place for all of us. Instead of treating them as competition, we need to look for opportunities to build a connection with them. The example I gave above might be an extreme, but at work, you will find ample opportunities to help people around you — maybe someone needs a helping hand with a presentation, someone needs a sounding board for an idea, someone is overloaded and needs some work taken off their back.”
“The worst thing that you could do with your own career is that you screw people over. If you rise at the expense of someone else, there is a good chance that karma will catch up with you sooner or later.”
He said, “Since we are at the subject of networking, we can’t avoid talking about the core foundation of your network — your family.”
I had never considering my family to be part of my network! How can my family help me rise in my career.
He said, “The support of our family comes to us by default since our financial and emotional fates are closely tied together. In fact, we will need to put in a really special effort to lose the support of our parents, spouse, siblings and children. However, in a turbulent world, a strong and supportive family is what will carry us through the rough patches. Family is what will give us the encouragement and emotional support to get back up and try again.”
“We need to ensure that whatever time we do spend with our family is high quality time. Just as we want our family to support our dreams, we need to ensure that we support theirs.”
“And if we are doing well, it is always more fun to share the spoils. If there is no one around to appreciate us, massage our ego and make us feel special, it won’t feel like success.”
This conversation was an eye opener! I said, “One final question — from what you are describing, it seems like we need to be a nice person. However, wouldn’t I get easily screwed over if I take this approach?”
He said, “When it comes to matters of money or trust, you have to be very very careful. For every person who is worthy of your trust, you will find 5 who aren’t. World is full of trickery and if you are not careful when dealing with people, you can be easily fooled. However, don’t let this cynical view of the world govern all your interactions since there are nice people out there who are worthy of your time and worthy of becoming partners in your success. With time and experience, you learn the art of identifying good from bad without taking too much of a hit, and it is OK to make mistakes from time to time.”
