Tired.

Being sick seems to add up over time. Generally I’m functional even when I’m in pain and I force myself to keep moving. I get up, go to work, and stay busy no matter how I feel.

Lately that push to keep moving has been lacking. I’m exhausted all the time thanks to a new medication I’m going to refuse to take once I see my doctor next. It leaves me exhausted when I wake up and exhausted when I go to bed. I’m so tied I’m dizzy sitting at work. Add this to my painful joints, tendons and muscles and I’m a barely functioning robot of a person.

It’s harder every morning to remind myself that I can’t just call in sick once it twice a week. I’m only allowed seven call ins a year before I start getting points at work. The more points you have the less your yearly increase is and any infractions weigh more on your evaluations.

I’m day dreaming of retirement at 35. I can’t imagine staying where I’m at like this for another 25 years. I still can’t imagine being sick the rest of my life.

I keep getting told I’m doing too much but I constantly feel like I’m falling behind. I’ve wasted two years being sick, it is time to get back to some form of normal.