You should support gun reform, and it’s not (just) because of Parkland
TW: Suicide
“So, what the hell is common sense gun reform? What’s that gun thing you do? Gun control???”
Let me start from the beginning.
In third grade, I met my future best friend Macy*.
Our friendship was irreplaceable in many ways. Our minds worked so differently than our peers. While most fourth graders ran around freaking out about cooties during recess, we were learning audio editing programs in the computer lab. While other fifth grade girls were worried about getting the latest Webkinz, we coded robots in the GT room (while also worrying about the latest Webkinz). And most significant of all, Macy stood up for me in ways that I never stood up for myself. She would never let anyone hurt me. Why? Because it was Macy and me against the world. The two of us always.
We went through all the hard stuff and all the easy stuff together. I remember fighting over boys and crying over how stupid we were to fight over boys. I remember leaving secret messages for each other in drainage pipes in our neighborhood over summer break. I remember singing “Our Song” by Taylor Swift for the annual talent show. I remember telling her about my first crush, first kiss, and how I dreamed the rest of our lives together would be.
But in October 2017, Macy committed suicide. A cyclist found her dead body near a trail along with the gun she used and a letter. At first, I went through the stages of grief over an over, like this sick clockwork cycle every day. I’d wake up and remember my friend killed herself, get angry at the world, cry a lot, and then maybe put another piece of my heart together before getting a little rest so that I could break my heart again the next day. A screenshot of the news article detailing her suicide sat on my desktop for more than a year until I bought a new laptop. Some days it was easier, some days I couldn’t leave my bed. I struggled through this all while trying to adjust to my first semester of college. I barely made new friends and isolated myself from old ones.
I’d wake up and remember my friend killed herself, get angry at the world, cry a lot, and then maybe put another piece of my heart together before getting a little rest so that I could break my heart again the next day.
Life wasn’t easy for her. I knew that. But never had it ever been as hard as it was for me as it was in the months following her suicide.
The unfortunate truth is a suicidal person will never comprehend the number of people they will impact with their actions, and if it was *that* hard for me, I can’t imagine the toll it took on others. Macy’s parents picked a day to ask friends and family to release red balloons into the sky in remembrance. My entire Facebook feed was red balloons: our old dance team got together, Macy’s extended family got together, and I, alone in the alley behind my dorm released a red balloon on behalf of the life Macy lived.
Now, a little more than a year later, every time I hear about another accidental shooting, act of domestic violence, mass shooting, I feel like I lose Macy all over again. I run though the stages of grief again. The scab is picked and my heart has to bleed out and the worst part of it all is knowing someone has lost their best friend the way I did: to a weapon that our country chooses to let anyone have.
But I believe in our country. And I believe we are a country capable of protecting the freedoms it was founded on while also protecting its people. Here’s how we can do that:
1. Red Flag Laws: Also known as Extreme Risk Protection Orders, legislation that falls under this umbrella term has already been passed in numerous states. Essentially, this legislation would allow friends/family or a member of law enforcement to “flag” someone who is both in possession of a firearm and at risk of hurting themselves or others with said firearm. That person would have to go through a due process, and law enforcement would be enabled to remove their custody of firearms if appropriate. When strongly enforced in Connecticut post-Virginia Tech, firearm suicides were reduced by 13.7%.
2. Waiting Periods: A waiting period simply means one would have to wait a few days between the purchase of a firearm and obtaining a firearm. Since suicide is an impulsive decision, this often forces someone who has impulsively decided to take their own life to either pick a less lethal method or truly think over what they’re about to do. It could, if implemented, prevent lethal suicides.
3. Universal Background Checks: At the time I’m writing this, H.R.8, the Bipartisan Background Checks Act has passed the house and moved to the Senate, making it the first major gun bill to pass the House in over 20 years. 97% of Americans support universal background checks. This would prevent a number of different people from being able to access loopholes in purchasing a firearm — from those underage to those with a pattern of domestic abuse.
4. Establish Stricter Storage Laws: … or at least educate people on what safe storage looks like. In the case of the Santa Fe shooting, the shooter took his father’s firearm and murdered 10. Since the shooter was 17 years old, the father, whose irresponsible storage practices allowed his child to have access to the gun used in the Santa Fe shooting, was not liable. Safe storage prevents accidental shootings, mass shootings, and suicides, yet current Texas law is reactive, not proactive in preventing these tragedies. Texas HB 316, co-authored by Donna Howard and Vikki Goodwin would set in motion the development and funding of a public awareness campaign on responsible storage practices as well as the benefit of these practices.
This legislation isn’t about punishing responsible gun owners, this legislation is about our American willingness to protect each other, to save American lives. If you have any questions about any of these four points, I will happily engage in conversation about gun violence prevention. Conversation is vital to this cause, and to making a more perfect union.
But let me also preemptively answer the question I get the most often: Even if Macy didn’t have a gun, wouldn’t she have taken her life anyway?
Truth is, majority of people who commit suicide both decide to act on their suicidal thoughts and actually attempt suicide within the same 24 hour period. This often stems from a particularly difficult encounter or situation that heightens these feelings. Suicide by firearm has more than an 80% fatality rate, while the most popular methods such as cutting and overdosing on non-prescription medication are around 6%. Furthermore, nine out of ten suicide attempt survivors do not go on to complete suicide later. Guns allow someone who is struggling with suicidal thoughts to most effectively end their life. And trust me, I would give anything to have a chance to try and save my best friend.
Guns allow someone who is struggling with suicidal thoughts to most effectively end their life.
In Texas, over 60% of deaths that are a result of firearms are suicides. Most suicides are firearm suicides. And in areas that have more guns, there is a higher rate of suicide by firearm. When you hear the word gun, you should think the word suicide. One does not exist in its current state without the other.
So register to vote. Then register your friends to vote. Then vote and make sure others are enabled to do the same. Call your elected officials. Then call up your friends and tell them to call their elected officials. Call local places of business and ask them if they have a gun policy and make sure it’s properly displayed according to your state law. Lobby at the capitol. And most of all, talk to people. Listen. That’s how we make sure America grows as we do.
Thank you if you’ve gotten this far. It’s 4:23 AM and I’m crying thinking about what I’d give to hear Macy’s voice again. Time to get some sleep, and I hope you do too. Macy spent her entire life standing up for me, and I can only hope she’s proud of me right now, standing up for her.
*Name has been changed to protect the privacy of the family.
