Family and Children in Bridge-House Community
Four and a half years ago, when I came to live in Inla Kesh, an intentional community in the highlands of Chiapas, Mexico, I was pregnant with Aru and somehow believed, that moving into a community automatically means that the whole community would take part in the upbringing of my child.
Even tough the vision was commonly clear: child raising is an important part in the creation of a new culture, Aru somehow stayed a private issue between David, me and the grandmothers.
As nobody took a stand to start exploring this realm, naturally we all manifested what we had learned: family and children are a private issue.
I did not ask for feedback about my way of being with Aru and nobody dared to enter the family circle.
I was simply too scared of all the opinions and judgements other’s might have about my way of raising my child. That they would reflect me all my “incapacities” and “weaknesses”.
For the past years I would take every comment regarding Aru’s behavior personal. I saw it as my responsibility how he showed up in the community. If there was a boundary to set it was the closer circle of Aru who would do it. The rest of the community members would just watch and maybe innerly comment and judge but there was almost no communication about the questions and doubts that arose from time to time.
Up until now…
Our field of children is expanding strongly the last months with the two brith’s of Luan and Senecio. And Aru is growing in strength and presence every day. He is asking for clarity and coherence of us adults. He is asking for our boundaries and values. So he can learn how to navigate the dark and light forces within him.
The time has ripen to make a step of evolution in the topic of family and child raising for me and for the whole community.
I finally opened a node, (check out torus technology, if you want to know) for children in Inla Kesh.
It has been amazing the meetings we had so far.
I realized, that there is no one against me. That there is no one against Aru. Speaking about the moment’s of “not knowing what to do” is deeply relieving!
And all the ideas and opinions from the others are incredibly enriching for me.
We have had two conversations with Matilde, a dear friend who dedicates her live to accompany children. She helped us to understand, what is the period of evolution Aru finds himself in right now. What does he need, how can we be with him and empower his growth…
Since we’ve opened this conversation I see everyone’s effort to go more in contact with Aru, help him understand the value’s of our culture and find way’s to use his enormous energy for creation and not for destruction.
I am glad that I could finally let go of the limited place I was living in, in which I had to make sure everyone is happy with Aru and if not, it was my fault.
Now I perceive Aru being much more integrated and close to all of us. And I feel supported and held in my journey of motherhood. Which makes my heart expand!
It is the moment for us to find coherence in the agreements about boundaries and core values we want to have clear with Aru and all future children.
I sense that we are just about to begin this adventure together. I know that there is a vast unknown in front of me…and I am excited to have a team with whom to explore it!
