Grandad Jokes, Batch #101
From the section Letter, Number, and Grammar Play of the book Grandad Jokes.
1
What is the theme song of the letter V?
I will follow U
2
What is the most generous letter?
Q
You’ve often heard “thank q”
3
What letter is renowned for its archery?
L
He uses his L bow.
4
Which letter is an alcoholic?
O
You’ve heard of wine-o
5
What is the most romantic letter?
U
People often say “I love U”.
11
On what day of the year are there only 25 letters in the alphabet?
Christmas (No-el)
12
Which letter is the boss of the alphabet?
D
You’ve heard of the Maitre D
13
Where does D live?
Beyond the C
14
The bizarre effects of the suffix “e” in English
sing, singe
bing, binge
win, wine
fin, fine
for, fore
rang, range
ton, tone
man, mane
rod, rode
rob, robe
sit, site
rat, rate
mat, mate
pur, pure
can, cane
shin, shine
15
Bizarre word pairs:
price and prize
spice and spies
lice and lies
vice and vies
rice and rise
nose and noise
toes and toys
was and ways
16
What is the most courageous letter?
O, as in brave o, or bravo
17
What is the most optimistic letter?
K, as in K sera sera.
18
What’s the meanest letter in the alphabet?
T.
You’ve heard to cruel T.
19
Which number spends a lot of time in the hospital?
Six.
He suffers from perpetual sixness.
20
Which number misbehaves more than any other number?
Zero.
It’s very naughty.
21
The number three had a longstanding problem with number five.
He could never get even.
22
Did you hear about the cute verb
who was prepositioned
an infinitive number of times?
23
As the French baby said,
“Chacun a son goo-goo.”
24
How can you say love in three characters:
2 = 1
25
Old MacDonald loved his vowels,
e i e i o,
and on his farm he had a ewe…
