Grandad Jokes, Batch #102
From the section Letter, Number, and Grammar Play of the book Grandad Jokes
26
The sentences fell in love
when their ellipses touched.
27
When 7 fell in love with 8, what did she say?
Be 9.
28
Two-character rebuke —
0 T
naught tee
29
What did the conjunctions do when they fell in love?
They held ands.
30
The head of counter-intelligence was fired
because he can’t see the first
for the threes.
31
The letter A fell for the letter F.
She loved his consonantal flair.
32
Proposed regenderfictation of English —
womantra
womandala
womanagement
womanicurist
womaneuverability
womanufactured
womanuscript
womanysplendoured
33
20, 30, and 40 all had the same problem —
they were all tens.
Gone didn’t have that problem —
he was past tense.
34
The manuscript was tired of being
the writer’s format.
But what choice did he have?
He hated seeing double.
But he didn’t want to be single for the rest of his life.
35
7 had a lump.
He was afraid it was cancer.
But he was lucky.
2 more made him be 9.
36
The letter A fell in love with the letter D.
He had consonantal flare and
his wisdom was in-F-able.
37
The cute number went for an addition and got the gig —
she had a byting wit.
38
How do numbers avoid pregnanacy?
Logarithm
39
He wanted to speak the ineffable.
But it was difficult to pronounce words without f’s.
40
The alphabet was very sad.
She only had 25 letters.
She missed her X.
41
Ten was heartbroken when he realized that
his love was unrequited.
With sobs, he told to his one and only
“You will never be nine.”
42
This swashbuckling grammatical love triangle
involves Error Flynn, Miss Take, and Type O.
43
Which number is the most modest and unassuming?
3.14
Humble pi.
44
A poet returned from a trip to the land of numbers
and told his friends about the experience.
Best of all, he said,
was when I met a four.
45
What is the weirdest pair of letters in the alphabet?
P and Q.
They are peculiar.
46
Why did the cute little number marry 666?
Because he was very sixy.
47
What’s the most special letter in the alphabet?
T.
You’ve heard of Special T.
48
She woke up to find that her boyfriend was pouring little pieces of paper on her.
She picked one up. It was a dot, like the dot on a lower case “i”.
He explained, “Tittles for your tits, my love.”
49
The alphabet did not have a good Christmas.
It felt incomplete.
There was no el.
50
What should you say when the lottery winner is
1, 3, 5, 7, 9?
That’s odd.
