Grandad Jokes, Batch #105
From the section Bedtime Whimsy and Romance of the book Grandad Jokes.
26
What do you call a guy who has strong sexual needs?
An urge-gent.
27
She looks great in a little black dress,
but she would look even better in a freudian slip.
28
Name for new resort on the Pacific coast of Mexico — Puerto Viagra
30
I’m serious.
I’m looking for a one-life stand.
But you build a life one night at a time.
Are you free tonight?
31
The mendicant monk had no possessions,
so for Lent
he gave up celibacy.
32
What do you call a scientist who studies farts?
A gas-tronomer.
33
What do you call a hooker who is menstruating?
A period piece
34
What is the bible of grammarians?
The Comma Sutra.
35
When Members of the House want to have congress with escorts, who pays the bill?
The Inappropriations Committee.
36
What kind of bed do newlyweds prefer?
Kink size.
37
When the chicken and the egg had sex, which came first?
38
What do you call a gentile gigolo?
A goy toy
39
What do you call the study of sex?
Science Friction.
40
Why did the Buddhist go to a nudist camp?
She preferred her yogi bare
41
The minister at a gay wedding pronounced, “I join you in holy patrimony.”
42
The would-be Casanova majored in cliterature.
43
By law pharaohs had to mate with their sisters.
When a friend asked Cleopatra how she felt about this practice, she replied,
“He’s very good inbred.”
44
What do Moslems say to their girlfriends on February 14?
Will you be my veil-in-tine?
45
What do you call a successful prostitute?
A busy body
46
Why did the strip club owner buy a Labrador retriever?
He wanted to offer lab dances.
47
Her vagina is a members-only club.
48
What’s the favorite treat of male cats?
cat nipple
49
What does the Declaration of Independence have in common with a sex manual?
The opening words are “When intercourse…”
50
Why did Eve invent the first diet?
She wanted to keep her girlish fig.
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