Grandad Jokes, Batch #106
From the section Bedtime Whimsy and Romance of the book Grandad Jokes.
51
What do you call an afternoon breast feeding session?
Teat time
52
What’s another word for a porn magazine?
Pubication.
53
A Moslem was having sexual performance problems.
So he went to his doctor who told him,
“Take four wives and call me in the morning.”
54
What did the clam say to his girlfriend?
Shell we chowder together?
55
What did the sex pervert order for an appetizer?
fetish-chini
56
What happens when a young girl eats too many pies?
She becomes a tart.
57
Why did the elevator button have trouble forming romantic relationships?
He was pressed, depressed, and repressed.
58
What do you call the back side of the knee?
“the knee pit”
and a kiss there is call a “kneep”
59
What’s the most romantic fragrance?
lovender
60
Why was the trumpet player nervous about his first date with a wonderful woman?
He was afraid he would blow it.
61
As they neared climax, the lady said, “You’re a nice man.”
He replied, “The nice man cometh.”
62
What European bug is associated with love?
The Roman tick.
63
A bride who marries well is well groomed.
64
“Honey, can you call room service, please.”
“No dear. We’re on our honeymoon. What you need is groom service.”
65
How did the Lone Ranger meet his wife?
They were rangers in the night.
66
I love being with you.
I love being in you.
That’s innuendo.
67
Pornographers write with pen and kink.
68
When the stripper slithered out of her underwear, what did the holy roller in the audience chant?
Repant! Repant!
69
Recipe for love:
mix two souls
add flesh
stir by hand
melt with passion
season to taste
repeat as desired
desire often
70
What’s a favorite song about cuddling?
Spoon River
71
What’s the favorite love song of apes?
Gorill of my dreams.
72
Heartbreak is emotion sickness.
73
What does the baker say to his loving wife?
Would you like to jump my scones?
74
What do you call a sexy English person?
anglo sexon
75
What should you call the short version of the Kama Sutra?
Clit Notes
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