Grandad Jokes, Batch #11
from the section Nonsensical Science, Philosophy, History and Religion in the book Grandad Jokes
276
Ponds are deep thinkers,
always reflecting.
277
Light is the shadow cast by darkness.
278
Remember it is easier
to day
than
to morrow.
Do you even know how to morrow?
279
I look forward to the time
when instead of May
the month will be known as
Can.
280
After the Sunday sermon
he became a
bored again Christian.
281
Apple bought God.
they are rebranding Him
and marketing Him
as the iM.
282
Theory of authorship —
A book by any other man
would not be the same.
283
The coach picked Time as his quarterback,
because no matter what the defense does,
Time always passes.
284
God would have made everything perfect.
but He was out of time.
285
In the Universe Awards
God got an honorable dimension
for Time.
286
After the Stone Age
and the Bronze Age,
came the Ironic Age.
287
Never regret anything you do.
Just gret.
Once is enough.
288
If your consciousness is hungry, order a sub,
for a healthy subconscious.
289
The problems with the publishing industry
begin with the vocabulary.
Authors must submit.
290
He kept bouncing from one writing project to another
and never getting to the end of anything,
until he went to finishing school.
291
The robot wanted someone to buy him,
so he’d be souled.
292
Better to be an outcast
than a cast of aspersions.
293
Writing a novel is as easy as
wanna
two
three.
294
Do everything you can to boost the value of your soul
so you can get top price
when you sell it to the devil.
295
The monk prayed “Amen”
but God misunderstood
and gave him almonds.
296
Clearly, parrots are evolutionary winners.
Because of their camouflage
no one would ever notice them.
297
Nirvana or
nerveana —
that is the question.
298
The life story you write
detailing what you hope to do
before you’ve done it
is your Ought-to Biography.
299
The third commandment —
Love thyself.
300
I thing I can
I thing I can
I thing
therefore I can.
