Grandad Jokes, Batch #114
From the section Bedtime Whimsy and Romance of the book Grandad Jokes.
151
Strippers often suffer from clothes-too-phobia —
the fear of wearing too much clothing.
152
What old brand of car was clothing optional?
The Nudebaker.
153
Why did the cheerleader want to date a cleancut pre-med student named William?
She wanted a clean Bill of health
154
The boss didn’t want to be accused of her ass ment,
so he fondled her breasts instead.
155
What is the best way for a woman to recognize true love?
The clitmus test.
156
Why does the scientist hope to meet a lady he both loves and hates?
He wants to be of two minds
to double his brain power.
157
He majored in topology in college because
so he could study topless dancers
158
What happens when orcs fall in love?
They have orcasms.
159
What did the sink say to the toilet?
Dear John …
160
She met a member of Congress
and learned that Viagra
is a congressional aide.
161
The lover of blow jobs was delighted to learn that
a sucker is born every minute.
162
In what kind of product is less more?
Women’s clothing.
163
What do you call the part of a mansion that is designed for sex?
The do-wing.
164
Before they married
they went to the gym
and sculpted themselves.
Then they divorced
and exsculpated.
165
What did Thumbelina say to her one true love?
“I want to dance on your stomach.
Then I’ll be a belly dancer.”
166
What word do you think of when a beautiful lady spreads her legs?
Lickedysplit.
167
What prize did the kitten give the tom cat the first time they did anal?
cat ass trophy
168
His girlfriend was going to dump him
unless he dropped 30 lbs.
So he carried a box full of books
and dropped it on the sidewalk.
169
The Platinum rule —
One good turn on
deserves another.
170
She had a heated floor
because she never wanted a lover
to get cold feet.
171
“I want you to enter me,” she said.
He replied,
“Let me entertain you.
Let me make you smile.”
172
The politician enjoyed campaigning,
but he especially looked forward
to erection day.
173
The politician enjoyed campaigning,
but he especially looked forward
to erection day.
174
The lady was disappointed with her husband’s performance,
so she went shopping in the hardware store.
175
The first commandment of the religion of love —
do others
as they do you.
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