Grandad Jokes, Batch #117
From the section Bedtime Whimsy and Romance of the book Grandad Jokes.
227
When the hypnotists fall in love what do they do for dates?
They go trancing.
228
What is the sound of one lover coming?
It is the same as the sound of the other lover going.
229
The canary got asked out often
because she was a cheep date.
230
When a chicken and an egg have sex,
which comes first?
231
She became popular after she bought a racoon as a pet.
The rumor got around that she had an amazing rac.
232
Who was the official entertainer of the Continental Congress when they debated the Declaration of Independence?
Jane Handcock.
233
What did Molly Malone sing when she chanced upon a nudist colony?
Cocks and muscles
alive, alive, ho!
234
He promised to give her a ring.
So she went to bed with him.
But he never called.
235
The sexy ship
was known as the “Hug Boat.”
236
The lady wouldn’t to go to exercise class.
She refused to do anything that was x-rated.
237
The raindrops fell in love
and in the morning,
they said, “I dew”
238
The naughty girl
went to bad at night,
and wore her naughty nighty.
239
When the old man
made love with young woman,
he celebrated with sex-with-a-teen candles.
240
“Oh! Oh! Oh!” she moaned.
“Do you love me,” he asked.
“I don’t know. But you are groaning on me.”
241
Arrested for nudity,
she pleaded that she had a medical condition —
clothes-trophobia.
242
What should you say
when you pinch a lady’s bottom?
Tush-ay
243
What was the middle name of Eliott Ness?
P
His wife called him P. Ness.
244
The archaeologist was delighted
when he got a grant to research Indian sites in the southwest.
He had long looked forward to getting
a Pueblo job.
245
The newly wed bought a fife
and gave it to his wife,
because he knew she wanted wife fife.
246
The Jewish lady
who had great sex
with a Christian
broke out in song —
Goy to the world.
247
Girls with glasses
have nice asses.
248
When her new boyfriend
made a move on her,
she said,
“No, no, no!”
And he said,
“It’s great getting to no you.”
249
“Why were you kissing George and Frank and Harry?” he asked his fiancee.
“I was practicing, so I could kiss you better.”
250
What did the faucet say to the man who had just washed his hands?
Darling, that was a real turn on.
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