Grandad Jokes, Batch #121
From the section Bedtime Whimsy and Romance of the book Grandad Jokes.
326
They were a perfect match.
Both studied philosophy.
He was into Hegel.
She was into Kegel.
And they were both into each other.
327
What bird is capable of having many orgasms?
The mul-tease falcon.
328
As Adam and Eve fell deeper in love,
she became Ever
and Ever
and Forever.
329
The newly-weds
prepared meals together
in the kiss-in.
330
Bobbit had a well-publicized accident
involving his nether parts.
Fortunately, he remembered.
331
They met in a psychiatric ward,
and have been committed ever since,
regardless of who is who
and who is with whom.
332
Camels like quickies —
they do it in only one or two humps.
333
Newly coined word —
a romantic story
is a kisstery.
334
Term for an escort who is also a writer —
freelance lover.
335
He wasn’t ready for an assisted living facility, not yet.
So he signed up
for assisted loving instead.
336
He was persistent.
When she said, “No!”
He replied, “No thyself. Yes me.”
337
He lost at the game of love
but wanted a rematch,
hoping for match-ic.
338
A clam proposed to girlfriend, “Will you marry me?”
She replied, “I shell.”
339
Coronavirus Honeymoon.
Synopsis of a novel romance —
During the decade of social distancing,
they learned that they couldn’t live together.
But, fortunately, they could love together.
340
Asstrology —
The science of predicting people’s futures
by studying their behinds.
341
The self-distancing lady on Match
insisted that she wanted to be alone.
He replied, “Great. I want a lone her.”
342
If a lady, while social distancing,
makes herself beautiful
and nobody sees her,
is she beautiful?
343
When a tourist in the red light district of Amsterdam
saw in a picture window
a lady servicing a client,
he called the number posted on the door
and asked,
“How much is that doggie in the window?”
344
Word to the wise —
Never try to clean a dirty mind.
345
Alone for the duration, she strove to improve her online writing skills.
She became a master of flirtition.
346
Title of pornographic Hitchcock movie?
Rear Window.
347
In the Middle Ages, nuns frequently gave advice to the love-lorn.
That was the origin of Dear Abbey.
348
She was a movie buff.
Not that she knew much about movies.
But that she like to watch them in the nude.
The joys of streaming.
349
The doctor prescribed bedrest.
So George tucked his bed in and let it rest.
350
She sort of liked him.
He was the boyfriend of last resort.
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