Grandad Jokes, Batch #124
From the section Bedtime Whimsy and Romance of the book Grandad Jokes.
401
An insatiable young lady
went to Russia
and committed a crime in front of a police station
in hopes of being sent to
a penile colony.
402
She dumped him when he offered to massage her feet.
She didn’t want anything to do with a massagenist.
403
He was addicted to texting with her.
Any pretext would suffice.
When they married,
they moved to Textus.
404
She was due to arrive in the morning
so she told him she expected him to clean all night.
The place was a mess when she got there.
He explained, “The night was already clean.”
405
What do you call it when a young couple in love rub their masks together?
Maskerbation.
406
A typo in the online ad led to embarrassment and disappointment.
They wanted a b&b
but wound up at a b&d.
407
The eunuch had sex
uniquely.
408
The sales girl and the customer
went into the changing room together.
They wanted to try each other on for thighs.
409
He was so sexy that for him
she lost ten pounds
and changed the color of her hair.
He was to dye for.
410
He suggested that she chill,
maybe get a job at a strip club
in Alaska
polar dancing.
411
She had her marriage with the linguist annulled
because he declined to conjugate.
412
The twelve-year-old wanted to kiss his cousin.
She asked, “Why?”
He replied, “Just be cuz.”
413
Self-description for a dating app —
Looking for someone
to fall in life with.
417
The escort identified as
buy-sexual.
418
Classic porn.
The Latin Lover
by Whore Ass
421
The escort had natural talent.
For her money was a major turn-on.
She could come on a dime.
420
As an author,
she preferred the third person,
but her husband was jealous
and their bed was too small.
421
The would-be authoress
knew how to turn defeat into victory.
She was entrancing
clad only in her rejection slips.
422
When should a woman propose to a leprechaun?
On Feb. 29 in a lep year.
That’s when he can change his spots.
423
What is the URL for Ben Franklin’s masterpiece?
Porn Richard’s Almanac.
424
They were married for 50 years.
They were sole mates.
425
They met on Twitter.
Their chemistry was right.
They synthesized with one another.
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