Grandad Jokes, Batch #126
From the section Bedtime Whimsy and Romance of the book Grandad Jokes.
451
The porn star
majored in English
with a specialty in poetry
and a concentration in analogy.
452
The socially distanced lovers celebated Christmas.
453
The porn magazine
held a flesh fiction contest.
454
The great composer was an admirer
of feminine pulchritude.
That’s why he wrote somefannies.
455
The eunuch was delighted to hear
that he could be retested.
456
The evangelical stripper became an actress,
a porn again Christian.
457
Christmas Eve is a very romantic day,
named in honor of Adam’s sole mate, the apple of his eye.
458
Product idea —
distance relationship app.
Helps you synchronize your sleeping patterns when you are far apart,
so you can sleep together
even when you aren’t together.
459
Life sucks.
But she’s good at it.
And she does it free of charge.
And at times like this that’s a huge benefit.
460
The phrase “alternate lives” makes me think of “alternate wives.”
Imagine instead of monogamy or polygamy
alternating who is married to whom.
461
What does it take to make a marriage last?
I think it is far more important to make a marriage first.
462
There are many varieties of that mental illness.
The most common is called “love.”
463
Phone sex is only safe sex
if you do it from a condominium.
464
The prostitute got severe burns
when she blew a fuse.
465
Product idea —
distance relationship app.
Helps you synchronize your sleeping patterns
when you are far apart,
so you can sleep together
even when you aren’t together.
466
He insisted on making love in a chair
because sexual pleasure should always be chaired.
467
A boyfriend from Bangkok
is a beau thai.
468
When she realized that he was her beau,
she gave him a beau tie,
the tie that binds.
469
The scifi author fell in love with him immediately.
He tickled her fantasy.
470
Videos of sexy corn cobs
are known as
cornography.
471
What did the chicken leg say to the nugget?
Love me, tender.
472
The first user of Viagra was Mr. ED.
That’s how he got his name.
473
She dared to venture into a sex shop for the first time.
And when the clerk asked her, “Small, medium or large?”
She replied “Circumsized, please.”
474
The teenage years are tough for boys,
dealing with growing pains
and groin pains as well.
475
Venus de Milo is a prude.
She won’t give head.
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