Grandad Jokes, Batch #128
From the section Bedtime Whimsy and Romance of the book Grandad Jokes.
501
Her library was very sexy —
well stacked.
502
Your vibrator loves you
because you know how to turn it on.
503
He panicked when she said she wanted an organ grinder.
504
Frostie’s girlfriend asked him,
“Are you an ice person?
505
The new x-rated adventure series
is named The Hung Games.
506
She fell in love with his portrait
rather than his real self
because it was so well hung.
507
She changed her name to Off
because so many people wanted to kiss Off.
508
The theme song for the
Easter Playboy Bunny
is Stars and Strips Forever.
509
They exercised in bed,
with heavy breeding.
510
The stripper got her driver’s license renude.
511
There is no right or wrong
in the writing of porn.
it’s errotica.
512
They had a misunderstanding
on their first get-away weekend.
She was looking forward to a B&B
and he a B&D.
513
She never slept with anyone.
She had insomnia.
514
At the party,
in the dark,
they played guess the mate.
515
I couldn’t find Distraction.
It wasn’t on any map.
So I married a woman who could drive me there.
516
The potter made matching coffee mugs
for him and his fiancee.
That made them a cuple.
517
What kind of brassiere should you wear
on St. Patrick’s Day?
Erin Go Bra.
518
The walls at the strip club
were finished with naughty pine.
519
Archaeologists found the missing link.
It took them to pornhub.
520
He gave his girlfriend lots of liquor
because absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.
521
How much do you charge for a mind blow job?
522
Standing invitation from escort —
Call whenever the body moves you.
523
She ordered a foot-long from Subway
and was disappointed
when all she got was a sub.
524
For public nudity,
she was abreasted.
525
She dated Wall Street lawyers
because she wanted a mate
who was good at mergers.
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