Grandad Jokes, Batch #48
From the Never Grow Up section of the book Grandad Jokes
751
When King Midas traveled,
he always brought along a thousand slaves
who were suffering from colds.
They became known as the coughers of the king.
752
The rich lady flew somewhere every day.
She explained, “I just love plane yoghurt.”
753
Owls work for the World Health Organization.
They are paid to remind us
WHO! WHO! WHO!
754
She was dead wrong about him.
He didn’t lie when he told her he was a director
and could give her a start in the business.
But she didn’t know he was a funeral director.
755
He was hungry and thirsty
and his boat was nearly out of fuel
But he had hope
because his charts showed
a sand bar straight ahead.
756
The guides and porters had lots of experience.
They grew up on the Amazon Deliver.
757
He said, “Ewe, ewe, ewe.
It’s all about ewe.”
So she left him
and moved to Boston,
where she became
a baamaid.
758
Brand name for a musical fertilizer —
AlleGro
759
Why do taxes
when you can call a taxi?
760
He studied accounting
because he wanted to become
a taxes ranger.
761
Tweety Bird says —
I taught I taught tautology.
762
How much wood would a nunchuck chuck
if a nunchuck could chuck wood?
763
Why did the Boston magician throw fish in the air?
He was playing cod tricks.
764
Which animal is known for its drug addiction?
The crack-o-dile
765
Why did a man try to masturbate with a stack of hundred-dollar bills?
He wanted it to be known that he came into money.
766
What does God say to the Sun in the morning?
Rise and shine.
767
When the president of the electrons behaved badly,
what was the headline in Current Affairs Magazine?
Revolting.
768
Why was the woman from Mars afraid to cry?
She had eyes in the back of her head
and was afraid of back tear ia.
769
Why did the card shark want to go to the forest?
He wanted to gambol through the woods.
770
The first movie with sound was made in Wisconsin.
That’s why it was called a Milwaukee talkie.
771
What do you use to cut down apple trees?
Apple saws.
772
What is the national insect of Saudi Arabia?
The mosque toe
773
What is the favorite dance of grapes?
Vine dancing
774
When California had an identity crisis,
what did he say?
Why am CA? (YMCA)
775
What was at the top of the priest’s bucket list?
To say the sacraments in Sacramento
