Grandad Jokes, Batch #49
From the Never Grow Up section of the book Grandad Jokes.
776
What did the Jewish lady say about the Protestant singer?
He has an amazing goyce
777
Alice in Wonderland invited a French chef to her tea party.
He was known as the Mad Hauter
778
Why was it that Rose, the tennis pro, never held her racket with two hands?
She didn’t want to be known as Second Hand Rose
779
What do you call a mythical bird who runs an employment agency?
A jobberwocky
780
Who are the grossest sailors in the world?
The Volgar boatmen.
781
A wheat farmer from Nebraska
was so worried about details of his crop
that he got my grains.
782
Why did the recruiter for the fruit army seek out raisins and prunes?
Because they are dried and true.
783
Why was Satan’s restaurant popular?
Because the food was hellthy.
784
What happened when Kafka jumped on a trampoline?
The Czech bounced.
785
Someone who seriously thinks ahead plans for
threemorrow.
786
What kind of car does a wealthy chef drive?
A Caviac
787
When the Quakers first came to America,
they sailed in a friend ship.
788
A cat-erpillar becomes a butterfly.
What does a dog-erpillar become?
an angel
789
When guardian snowmen were placed around the palace,
what did they say to intruders?
Ice see you.
790
When the head chef ran into difficulties,
he told his staff
there is no insupperable problem.
791
What would you say if you saw a Chinese vase hanging over a wishing well?
That’s over well Ming.
792
What is the ability to do great things?
Greativity
793
What is the most responsible season?
Ought-um
794
Jerry Lee Lewis was Jewish, and his favorite holiday was Passover.
How do we know this?
Because he wrote the song
Great Matza Balls of Fire.
795
When he retired, the founder of the ROTC became a photographer of celebrities.
Then he became known as Pappa ROTC
796
How did the Peruvian police catch the international criminal?
He was on the llama.
797
What kind of explosives did they use in the Jurassic Age?
Dinomite
798
What mathematical skill is most important for time travel?
Memorizing the times tables.
799
Did you hear about the baby vegetable
who dreamed of becoming a boy sprout?
800
Have you ever been to a symphony of flowers
played by an orchid stra?
