Grandad Jokes, Batch #67
From the Never Grow Up section of the book Grandad Jokes.
1226
Good title for a couples novel —
“In Bed.”
For all those who say at night “Let’s read in bed.”
1227
He could hear her but he couldn’t tell where she was.
He had poor earsight.
1228
Title for a children’s book with a didactic theme —
Tidy.
1229
The Great Barrier Reef won the global singing competition
with its Coral Chorale.
1230
The tattoo artist wanted to work on Hercules.
Then he would have a truly impressive body of work.
1231
Name for oyster restaurant in Tel-Aviv —
Oy Vey.
1232
Reading the Magic Schoolbus stories was good preparation for college
and its silly buses.
1233
I imagine a modern Paul Revere riding through North Carolina warning,
“The rednecks are coming! The rednecks are coming!”
1234
Her ex stinked.
His rotting body was in the basement.
1235
The school of psychics
charged a high price
for intuition.
1236
The drawing was so high spirited,
it became an animated feature.
1237
She couldn’t think of anything
but what she was wearing and was going to wear.
She was clothes minded.
1238
What famous novel was written by
the Venus di Milo?
Farewell to Arms.
1239
He can’t darn a sock,
but he can say “darn” to one.
1240
She loved the sound of popcorn popping.
To her, that was pop music.
1241
The king kept the names and addresses
of all his subjects
on a rule-a-dex.
1242
She loved her forest.
So she installed webcams throughout,
so no tree would fall
without being seen and heard.
1243
Will Rogers was an ear of corn
before he became a comedian.
That’s how he got the habit of saying
“Ah, shucks.”
1244
Favorite game-song of Casper the Friendly Ghost
and his friends —
“A tisket, a tasket, a green and yellow casket.”
1245
Medicine for acute hubris —
A-mocks-asilin
1246
As soon as she learned there was a town named “Perpetuity,”
she moved there,
so she could live in perpetuity.
1247
Some of his business dealings were dubious
so he decided not to move to Australia
where he would be subject to trial by kangaroo courts.
1248
The rain is gentle here
because the condo committee would never allow a downpoor.
1249
The maid never made it on Wall Street.
She was great at folding clothes
and also at folding businesses.
1250
She wore earrings all the tie because if she took them off
she wouldn’t be able to find them.
