Grandad Jokes, Batch #75
From the Never Grow Up section of Grandad Jokes
1451
She wanted her apartment decor
to be clear and unambiguous,
nothing off-color,
nothing suggesting a bad joke.
1452
He stank, deliberately and offensively.
He wanted to be the BO and end all.
1453
The baker married the poet
for batter or verse.
1454
The dog breeder was an artist wannabe.
He enjoyed doodling.
His favorite create was a labradoodle.
1455
He was human, but not humane.Fortunately he had a sense of humor.
1456
She hired her mistakes as tutors
so she could learn from them.
1457
He was very sensitive.
Every day he took a walk on the em-path.
1458
The grandmother started an online community
and called it Jitter Blog.
1459
Marketing was very important to the computer.
She wouldn’t work without a plug.
1460
He became a real estate lawyer
because he wanted to devote his life to good deeds.
1461
When the shirt hid under the bed to avoid
the agony of the washer and drier,
he told his friend, the sock,
“That was a clothes call.”
1462
When she ran over the cuisinart in the driveway,
the insurance company classified the accident
as a blender bender.
1463
In his will,
he endowed a university for ducks.
That was his way of saying, “Duck U.)
1464
She was confused
so she bought an explain ticket.
Now she needed to use it.
But she didn’t know what she didn’t know.
1465
He was a repeat offender.
He stole a mink stole.
1466
The singer became a professional baseball player
because he had perfect pitch.
1465
She meant to write her memoir,
but she forgot.
1466
What did Bugs Bunny say to the legal brief?
“What’s up, Doc?”
1467
The street walker was conservative.
She was a prostitutionist.
1468
When Corduroy got his pocket,
what hit song was written about him?
Pocket Man.
1469
He was good at helping goats to go to sleep,
but he was arrested as a kidnapper.
1470
He was told he needed a flier to promote his business.
So he got a frequent flier.
She didn’t help his business,
but she was fun.
1471
He became a member then quit then joined again,
because he wanted to be remembered.
1472
He started his business from scratch —
scratching backs
so people would scratch back.
1473
The dishwashing shouted to the laundry and the vacuuming and the lawn mowing —
“All’s a chore that’s coming a chore!”
1474
When he was ready to go on paranormal adventures,
he brought along his parashoot.
1475
He loved the sea in summertime
and dreamed of one day becoming
a summerine captain.
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