Grandad Jokes, Batch #83
From the Never Grow Up section of the book Grandad Jokes.
1651
Someone who always uses chopsticks
is a chopaholic.
1652
The rock group was floundering
until they bought a box of bandaids.
1653
What is the sound of one thunder clapping.
1654
Murder by steam
is saunicide.
1655
The suit was in serious need of therapy.
He had many hangups.
1656
The American tourist was blown away
by the beauty of Australia.
“The sunset is amazing!” she exclaimed
at 6 AM.
1657
When I grow up
I want to be a candy barista.
1658
A barbershop romance —
boy meets curl.
1659
He bought bacon
at the bakery.
1660
Someone who borrows pens is a penhandler.
1661
As a kid he was a wild game hunter.
But as he matured,
he preferred chess.
1662
I’m always thinking of you.
Every day I put at the top of my to-do list —
“Empty trash.”
1663
He carried a dime with him everywhere,
in case he might need to turn.
1664
An alcoholic automaton
is a robottle.
1665
What host arrived as a guest
and killed a host of suitors
before he was guessed?
1666
Title for a medical murder mystery —
The Clot Thickens
1667
The fear of cloth is
clothstrophobia.
1668
Good brief!
Where’s my underwear?
1669
The captain made sure his ship
went to the bathroom before leaving the dock.
He didn’t want it to have to take a quick leak.
1670
The author took a course in Ethics
to learn how to build character.
1671
Who is the most famous pladypus?
Plad the Impaler.
1672
Which publisher has its headquarters
in Antarctica?
Penguin Books
1673
The Olympic runner cheated at cards
because he knew that cheaters run fast.
1674
What Internet company played a important role in the American Revolution?List of Richard’s other stories, essays, poems, and jokes.
Yankee Google.
1675
Coining a phrase —
Black noise
is noise you can’t coverup or ignore.
