Grandad Jokes, Batch #88
From the Never Grow Up section of the book Grandad Jokes.
1776
The sweet-tempered cow
was always kine.
1777
Jack was a has-bean,
before he got arrested for stalking.
1778
James Joyce was ahead of his time.
Finnegan was woke.
1779
Snow White should have had sense enough
not to eat an apple.
Computers taste terrible.
1780
The author liked his steak done
meme.
1781
The stealth nuclear submarine
was popularly known as
Sub Rosa.
1782
Inflation is caused by
bicycle pumps.
1783
He never had a drop of alcohol.
He always drank it by the pint.
1784
A small dog should be called a K8.
A very small dog K7.
A large dog K10.
A large cat Kit10.
1785
The aborigine went went hunting for reindeer.
He had the Christmas spear-it.
1786
The comedian went on a diet,
and it nearly wrecked his career.
He lost twenty puns.
1787
Afraid of underwater attacks,
they used a team of mental patients
to detect the enemy with their
sub conscious.
1788
The recycled newsprint needed a therapist.
He was repressed and depressed.
he found it impossible to express himself.
He had a pressing need.
1789
The precipitation
was hail and hearty.
1790
The shadowy character got a light sentence.
1791
Friar Tuck played trombone
in Robin Hood’s Merry Band,
When he retired, he became a cosmetic surgeon
and changed his name to
Nip and Tuck.
1792
He engraved words on the sides of submarines.
It was a sub scription service.
1793
The physicist Richard Feynman was a terrific drummer.
Great sense of algorhythm.
1794
Tolkien’s son played hockey.
He was known as The Lord of the Rink.
1795
The farmer had no faith in doctors.
They couldn’t even cure ham.
1796
She became a waitress
because she knew that
good things come
to those that wait
1797
The chicken crossed the road
because he thought the road was a vampire.
1798
Satan tempted the king,
“Now you have the throne,
but I could give you much more than that.”
So, the king sold his soul,
and, as promised,
he was overthrone.
1799
He brought a mirror to the DMV
because it’s important to
watch your wait.
1800
She bought him 4.0 reading glasses
and told him,
“May the fours be with you.”
