Grandad Jokes, Batch #90
From the Speaking in Tongues section of the book Grandad Jokes.
1
What do you say when someone dies in Venice?
Gondolences
2
What illness is unique to gentiles?
Goy-ter
3
What is COBOL?
An ancient geek language.
4
The concord grape’s ambition was to become the raisin d’etre.
His brother just wanted to be raisin’ hell.
5
What do rich Italians say to their babies?
“Gucci Gucci goo.”
6
When the American student travelled to Spain, he was confident that he’d never go hungry on the bus. In a pinch, he could always eat the emergency salad (salida de emergencia)
7
What’s a good name for an elementary school mathematics tournament?
Battle of the Sum
8
When will that mathematics tournament be held?
Sum day
9
What do dogs say to one another at the start of a meal?
bone appetit”
10
What does a Frenchman say when he knocks off someone’s wig?
Toupee
12
What is the polite thing to say when someone sneezes on you in Spain?
Mucus gracias.
13
What was the theme song of the Cuban Revolution?
Adeste Fidelis
14
What do you call a bus travel nightmare?
A coach mar
15
What do you call a Spanish pig who is always asking why?
Por que Pig
16
What do cows and citizens of Barcelona have in common?
They both speak cattle-an
17
What did Barbra Streisand say to Arnold Schwarzenegger when he won Mr. America?
Muscle tov
18
A Chinaman who signed up for a table tennis tournament was outraged by the color of the balls.
“I thought this was pink pong.”
19
What do you call an Italian-Jewish resort for divorcees?
a spa gett
20
What do you call the recruiting period for Jewish fraternities and sororities?
Rush hoshana.
21
What language do ropes speak?
Thai
22
Where in Paris can you buy underwear made out of bread?
The Boule Lingerie
23
Name an Argentinian communist comedian.
Gaucho Marx.
24
What’s the favorite line-dancing music in Israeli bars?
Have a tequila
25
In France, an old lady with a job as a court recorder is known as a “noter dame”.
