Grandad Jokes, Batch #94
From the Speaking in Tongues section of the book Grandad Jokes
26
What French painter loved the colors red and black?
Red-noir
27
Janitor’s philosophy —
Je pense donc je sweep.
28
To a Frenchman, what is the simplest, most unsophisticated drink?
Naive tea
29
In France, when a builder of highways has regrets,
he rues the day.
30
In Paris, what do you call a sudden craving for bread?
A pain-ic attack
31
In France, woman hugs her husband and whispers”
“Homme, sweet homme.”
32
In August almost nothing is on sale in Paris.
It’s all solde.
33
What is the sexiest town on the Rhone River?
Tournon (Turn-on)
34
What do you call the United Nations organization for the protection of snails?
UNESCARGOT
35
What do you call a young French beggar?
A beguette
36
I’d rather carpe deam than carpe diem —
Grab the goddess.
37
How do shell fish congratulate each other?
Mussel tov
38
French compliment.
Magni chique
39
When Benedict Arnold retired, he became a caterer in Paris —
Un traiteur
40
A single lady in France is known as an homme-less person.
41
What’s the name of the French artist who cut off his ear and ran to Tahiti?
Van Gaughin
42
What university in Germany is designed for overweight students?
Tubingen (too big ‘un)
43
How should you congratulate a Jewish weight-lifting champion?
Muscle tov
44
Target in France is pronounced “Tarjay”.
In India, it is the Tarjmahal.
45
What do you call the mother of all cherries?
Ma Cherie
46
Why was Carl Jung happier than Sigmund Freud?
Because he knew that he would be Jung forever.
47
Russian billboard:
Join the beet generation.
Eat Borscht.
48
Definition of “apres new,”
the same new thing.
49
Name for French-American porno company —
Cum See
50
When the suspect is an egotist,
cherchez la fame.
