Grandad Jokes, Batch #98
From the Speaking in Tongues section of the book Grandad Jokes.
101
“Bad” in German means “bath” or “spa.”
And the favorite gathering place of comedians is
Bad Jokes.
102
The bald bawd’s bod had a bad bath in Baden Baden.
103
Frenchmen in a bar
threw chickens back and forth around the room.
They were playing poule.
104
Searching for an apartment in Paris
she wanted a rue with a view.
105
In ancient Greece
beginning reading books didn’t say
“Run, Spot, run.”
Rather
“Run, Homer, run.”
That was the origin of baseball.
106
Marie Antoinette threw a huge Louau
for the king’s birthday
with cake for all.
107
The songbird was disappointed by Twitter.
She had 20,000 followers but no lieders.
108
What did Freud’s Roman ancestor say?
Et ego in Arcadia sum
109
What was Freud’s favorite abbreviation?
i.e.,
id est
110
The German housecleaner was a philosopher
She enjoyed dusting
because it brought her in touch with das ding itself.
111
Name for Greek salvage company —
Oedipus Wrecks
112
Apparently sex is to the French what snow is to the Eskimo —
a creative cornucopia of possibilities.
113
The Israeli feminist scholar
studied the legend of the Queen of Sheba
and the origins of the Shebrew language.
114
When she was overwhelmed with guilt,
she was recruited by a religious culp.
115
In Mexico, when they worship Zeus,
they begin their prayers
“Hay Zeus.”
116
What is the past tense of John Wick?
John Wicked.
117
Definitions —
An ah-hah moment is when you realize something about yourself
and/or the world around you.
A hah-hah moment is when you realize that someone isn’t who they pretend to be
and realize the irony of his/her words.
118
The power of an adverb — “Working” means doing what you would only do for pay. And “working out” means exercising for the fun and health of it.
119
A German device for determining your age is an altimeter.
120
In Russian, “I love you” is “Ya vas lubelu.”
Hence I can easily imagine a porn site named
YouLube.
121
The Brit paid the bribe in pounds.
It was quid pro quo.
122
It’s hard to learn a foreign tongue,
but you can lick it.
123
The German went with his gut,
saying
“Gut is gut.”
124
“Irregardless” Interesting word.
It means exactly the same as its antonym
“regardless.”
125
The German student read a lot.
That was the liest she could do.
