Grandad Jokes, Batch #99
From the Speaking in Tongues section of the book Grandad Jokes.
126
Sadness about animal extinctions
in Germenglish —
Tierdrops.
127
In Greece
in the days of Homer,
Dawn enjoyed la vie en rose.
128
When the plumber went for a walk in Paris,
he prominently carried a copy of L’Etranger.
That was his camusflage.
129
The rainbow was an accomplished composer.
She had an unforgettable lightmotif.
130
When the classicist didn’t get tenure,
he was up shit’s Greek.
131
In German, the pleasure of
eating cookies while driving is
fahrfignewton.
132
The French woman mystified him.
She kept says, “S’il vous plait.”
He couldn’t understand
why she wanted silver plate.
133
The weary rabbi
had a long, long vey to go.
134
French lesson —
S’il vous plait.
Do you want to play?
135
His muscle tone needed improvement.
But his muscle tov was great.
136
The author was criticized
as an in medias racist.
137
The quarterback on the Japanese football team called,
“Three, twenty-two, haiku!”
138
After he flunked out of poetry school,
he stopped writing haikus,
and tweeted low-kus instead
139
Etymology of the word “ire”
It comes from IRS which everyone hates.
140
Slogan for a French-American
restaurant and escort service —
L’appetit vient en fuckant.
141
What is the most emotional structure in the world?
The I Feel Tower.
142
That reminds me of Rodin’s statue
The Cheeseburgers of Calais.
143
The pristine mountain stream
spoke Ancient Creek.
144
When she got her PhD in physics at age 21
she changed her name to Zweistein —
one better than Einstein.
145
He went to the Great Wall
to take a wok.
146
Frustrated at how quickly time flies,
Cicero exclaimed,
“Tempus fuck it!”
147
Independently wealthy
attractive Jewish lady
seeks muscle tov.
148
When the first woman gets on
a major league baseball team,
they should hold a bat mitzvah for her.
149
When the rich man
lost his fortune,
he suffered from culture schlock.
150
The French are renowned as spendthrifts.
That’s why their country is known as
“Payee de France.”
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