Duchess of Duke Street, Season 3

Richard Seltzer
3 min readFeb 22, 2024

The final episode of the second and last season of The Duchess of Duke Street (1976–77), now streaming on Britbox was a major disappointment. The series started in 1900 and ended in the late 1920s. All through the series, the main character, Louisa, was dynamic, indomitable. But in that last episode, when she’s in her 50s, she’s portrayed as old and over the hill. That’s out of character. She should be in her prime.

Last night, I dreamed a third season.

In the first episode, Eldercare, Louisa gets dolled up for a ball. She says “I’m gonna get meself a duke.” And she succeeds in doing so.

In Episode 2, House Divided, Louisa is outraged at the incompetence of Parliament in dealing with the Depression. She runs for the House of Commons and wins, to the dismay of her new husband, the Duke, who is in the House of Lords.

In Episode 3, The Big Bad Woolf, she meets Virginia Woolf, hosts gatherings of the Bloomsbury Group and becomes a “scribbler.”

In 4, Give Me Shelter, half a dozen houses near the Bentinck are destroyed by German bombing during WWII. She buys the ruins, razes the rubble, and turns the site into a massive bomb shelter open to the public.

In 5, Food, Wonderful Food, she organizes and directs courses to teach the public how to prepare nutritious and delicious meals despite food shortages and rationing.

In 6, Naming Names, she writes a multi-volume history of London during the Blitz. The book details the guilt of those who benefitted from the death and destruction. She won’t allow it to be published because it would be edited to avoid suits for libel. But many make the pilgrimage to her Bentinck Hotel to read the one copy she keeps in her office.

In 7, I’m Watching Ya, in 1965, at the age of 90, she donates the Bentinck to a charity that turns it into an orphanage. She now needs a wheelchair, but she continues to be a presence in British politics. Every day that Parliament is in session, she sits in the public gallery and watches. And everyone knows she’s watching.

In 8, Well-Deserved Fame, Queen Elizabeth grants her the official title of “Duchess of Duke Street. “And Woody Allen spends weeks interviewing her, to get background for his movie Zelig.

In 9, England’s Sid, she dies, but supporters wheel her mummified body to Parliament daily, so she can continue to exert an influence. She gets the nickname “Sid,” an echo of the Cid of Spain, who led a charge against the enemy while dead and tied to his horse.

In 10, Long Live the Meme, she is buried at Westminster Abbey, with a statue of Athena over her grave. It’s the traditional Athena, but with the face of Louisa. On Guy Fawkes’s Day and during public protests, everyone now wears Louisa masks.

If you know anyone at BBC who might make this third season happen, please forward this suggestion.

List of Richard’s other jokes, stories, poems and essays.

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Richard Seltzer

His recent books include Echoes from the Attic, Grandad Jokes, Lizard of Oz, Shakespeare'sTwin Sister, To Gether Tales. and Parallel Lives, seltzerbooks.com