Creating in the Margins
Making in Family Mode

This week, a long time friend in a phase of melancholy nostalgia sent me a copy of an email I had written her about twelve years ago. She was living an exciting ex-pat lifestyle in the Middle East, exquiste foreign travel, had just had her second child, and had a contract writing and publishing romance novels. Of course.
Much of the email was me cheerleading and ego boosting. For her.
Me? At the time, I was working part time as a nurse at an international boarding school, raising my own school age kids, navigating the shoals of Suburban MidWest PTO and Corporate Marriage, and attempting to carve out some creative time for myself.
The resurrected email launched days of anger and resentments. Not helping that this coincindes with the first anniversary of my photography business failing. My business failed because I was too distracted caring for my young adults and our elderly parents in crisis. I prioritized their legitimate needs ahead of my business. Ahead of my needs for identity and income.
People over art.
That’s the part of the Creative Journey folks don’t talk about.
In Family Mode, priorities shift.
Time, attention, and resources are reallocated from Creative Pursuits to Nurturing Others. Time and attention that “ should” have been invested in my business and exhibiting/selling at art fairs was diverted to accompaning my elderly parents to scary painful medical and dental procedures or assisting the young adults moving households. The money for critical capital infusion went to two rents for two college students in other cities and a “ once in a lifetime” vacation with my elderly father- in- law.
In Family Mode, our priorities shift.
Last Fall, I was consumed with the ugly legal and financial bits of unspooling an unprofitable, poorly defined business while still caring for my elderly parents and attending to the crisises of the young adults. The immediacy and magnitude of their needs felt overwhelming. It still does.
However, I kept making my art and writing.
It was during this time that I created some of my best pieces and was curated into my most important exhibits to date. With no business to “ support” it. But a shit ton of familial obligations.
Created in the Crevices of Caring.
Reading that long ago email intially made me feel very bad. Like I was in the same place and had not moved forward, either in my life or in my art. And I really questioned the sender’s purpose and intent.
Reflecting, I realized that I’m not the same person I was then. I no longer practice nursing. I have zero contact with the Suburban PTO harpies. My work in multiple mediums is shown in galleries juried by significant curators to good reviews. There is a line of me- designed textiles I haven’t really promoted. I learned how to legally start and stop a business and file and pay business taxes.
“ Now you know for the next business,” quipped Husband.
Success though failure, my art is, now, the best it has ever been. Created in the crevices of caring. My marriage and family are still intact and thriving through crises. And so am I.
To everyone who is attempting to create or practice your art in the Throes of Family and Obligation, it can be done. However, the end result will not be quite as you intended.
It will be better.
That friend who sent the email? Oh, her life has changed, too. But that’s her story to tell.
To follow my art, Instagram@susan_mcclory
