“I love you; because you are NOT me; because you are NOT mine.”

“Could we say ‘I want to hide you…’” instead of the well-known sentence “I love you!” I hope that one day we will be able to say that. It is more than just saying “I love you.” It suggests calmly protecting, secretly embracing, gently making private, and patiently fostering. It moderates and refines the urge for ownership and possession that love is likely to nurture.

“And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.” -Kahlil Gibran

Loving someone can often lead down dark paths towards owning the beloved, seeing the beloved as one’s own property. Possibly, the state of attachment at the roots of love quickly evolves into dependence. It turns into an experience of ownership, which is often expressed as “You are mine, I am yours…” Claiming strict ownership — which puts the beloved as well as the lover in a difficult position — narrows the scope of love and forces it to a challenging slope.

The delusion of “I can’t live without you!” is like a shackle around the entire being of the unlivable. The space where love and compassion, care and reverence are expected to bow with kindness is surrendered to the fearful and anxious domination of necessity.

“Hiding” implies a distant closeness. It promises to spare the one you love, even to avoid your own shadow. This promise includes a resigned surrender to allow things to be as they should be.

The priority is not to try to make her/him look like you want her/him to look or to try to transform her/him. This is the duty of entrusting the beloved with the originality that makes her/him beloved. The lover who tries to make her/his beloved look like herself/himself is, in reality, loving her/himself.

A lover who leaves their beloved in their original state is showing love for them as they really are.