Image credit: Pixabay

A Battle of Wills

We’ve all been in a conversation that goes something like this:

I need/want/believe a, b, c…

The other person states:

I need/want/believe x, y, z…

And the battle commences.

Each side pushing and persuading and arguing for their point of view, their position.

My will is greater than yours! The age old battle-cry.

I want to win. The age-old motivation.

You know what usually happens next, a stalemate, an impasse. No way forward, no way back. The damage has been done.

Eyes blazing, hearts bleeding. We need triage, quick!

There’s always a loser in the ego war games — everyone who participates.

Human history is littered with the bodies of soldiers. Human hearts are riddled with the arrows of unskillful interaction.

It takes great finesse to manage one’s emotions in the heat of the battle, not stuff them down, but also not spear another with them.

To become the ambassador for your idea, desire or need without believing it’s the only way. Stepping outside polarity for third, fourth and even fifth options.

Valuing the other person more than you value your perspective. Honoring our shared humanity, our collective strengths and foibles.

The alternative to a battle of wills?

Connection, communion, compromise, shared victory.

Turning war drums into healing rhythms.