One step closer to the simple life…

Ever been through one of those periods in your life when you’re super connected? When the source energy of the Universe seems to be flowing through every pore and atom of your existence?

It’s absolutely joyful beyond measure.

What happens then when you go through a subsequent period of disconnection?

You might wonder, are my spiritual teachers still with me? Why can’t I connect anymore? All I sense is the roughness of this physical world, intense conflict with others, emotional overload. Push and pull of my inner critic battling my loving compassionate heart. I’ve been angry and scared. I even gossiped nastily about others and didn’t even seem to care.

Why’s this all coming up? Next week, I will stop working 50–60 hrs/week for the first time in my adult life. Might seem strange, but it was a very emotional decision. I wonder, as a part-time worker, how will I fill the rest of my days? What will it be like to not be on-call for clients after 10 years in customer service?

If I’m not rapidly striving to constantly produce, what’s my worth?

You see, I recognized work is a drug like any other. Seductive, it entrances us to believe if I just handle that one more thing, if I strive for that next promotion, if my boss praises my work, then I’ve arrived. Then life starts to get good — I’m a success!

Like any other addiction, the first step was recognizing I had a problem. I asked, how can striving to be a high achiever be wrong? My physical body answers that question in countless ways.

The constant tension in my neck and between the shoulder blades. Waking up in the middle of the night and unable to sleep for worrying about some insignificant work situation. My sensitive nervous system on high alert, never quite being able to relax.

So today, I decide to get a small taste of what’s to come. I stop home to eat lunch on the patio, look out into my forested backyard, listen to bird song and the percussion of crickets rising up from the meadow. Take my shoes off, wiggle my toes and stand in the shaded moss. Reach my virtual roots deep into the Earth. Feel the gentle breeze lift my hair and caress my face.

This is going to be my daily reality.

A sabbatical, a deliberate slowing down. Time to sort and release a majority of my material possessions. Research tiny homes, rainwater harvesting, grow an organic garden, convert to solar. Writing every day, oh yes! Moving forward on a path to a simpler pace of life.

I reach my hands to the sky, then out to open my heart.

To my spiritual teachers, I say thank you. Thank you for helping me to be disciplined these past five years to pay off debt, to gain my freedom. In such deep gratitude for this opportunity to release myself from the rat race and explore my unique life path.

Namaste,

Bevin