Which life lesson are you working on?
#23, #57, #98?
I recently read a fascinating article about life lessons. The author proposed an interesting philosophical question: ‘what if there were 100 different life lessons?’ You know, those key lifelong challenges we each face and try to overcome? At any given time, I might be working on #43 (patience), while you might be considering #72 (procrastination) and someone else is tackling #14 (anger) and so on…
I wonder if perhaps this is a root cause of so many misunderstandings between human beings? Since we’re each working on a different lesson, it’s sometimes difficult to understand why another person is struggling.
If I’ve already mastered ‘procrastination’ for example, I might not get why it’s so hard for you. That should be easy, I think to myself. (By the way, I’m still working on procrastination, I plan to get to that some time next week). If you’re already a patient person, you might be puzzled why I keep trying to move faster, faster, let’s get this thing going already! You think, what’s the rush?
So why aren’t we all working on the same lessons at the same time?
Simple. So we can teach each other.
One of my biggest life lessons is about trusting that I will have enough money to take care of my basic needs. I read a study that showed one of the top fears women have is being homeless. Not surprising, if you consider a woman who is homeless or ‘unstably housed’ is far more likely to experience physical and sexual violence as well as aggressive threats and emotional abuse.
So, perhaps what I thought was an irrational fear about money is actually a biological trigger about safety, security and vulnerability?
Okay, I can work with that.
From a spiritual perspective, I am told if I follow my life purpose, make smart decisions and work hard — I will be able to make a living doing what I love. Otherwise known as releasing poverty consciousness in order to attract abundance. I’ve meditated on this particular issue for years and identified my triggers from growing up in a low-income household. Notice I didn’t say ‘poor’, as my family was abundantly wealthy in so many other ways: love, respect, creativity, humor and authentic expression.
Looking back, I’ve realized no matter how tight my financial situation was, I’ve always had what I needed. Always had a home to live in, food on the table, a vehicle to get to work, and some really amazing career opportunities. Even when my bank account was -$23.14
I was able to put myself through college through grants, scholarships and a large dose of elbow grease. It felt good to work hard and accomplish that. I’m not a materialistic person. I can feel safe and secure as long as I know my basic needs are taken care of.
I totally thought I had this one licked.
Yet, here it comes again. That damn doubt, entering my mind. Small knot in my stomach telling me the fear’s back.
I found out nothing will trigger you more about money and safety than launching your own business.
My mind starts to race, asking:
- What if nobody’s willing to pay for my coaching programs?
- Will I be able to buy food?
- Should I cash out my retirement account or get extra credit cards just in case?
My spiritual training kicks in. Breathe, close your eyes and get centered. Fear happens to everyone, especially around our largest life lessons.
Time for positive self-talk:
Bevin, this is simply a deeper dive. You’ve been successful in multiple careers; you’re carrying all of that knowledge forward.
People have responded well to all of the past workshops you’ve led. The programs you’ve developed are in line with what HSPs in your community and on FB are telling you they need — most importantly you are coming from a place of service. You have an amazingly supportive network of family and friends.
I know, I know, but what if?
So I ask my favorite question: what’s the third option?
- I can succumb to the fear and stay at my day job, try to run Sensitive Journey on the side. But this calling is too strong…
- I can risk it all, quit and take my chances. Cash out my retirement, hope for the best and potentially have to use pushy sales tactics to sell, sell, sell. Not a philosophy I believe in.
- Or, I can put aside my ego that tells me if I take a part-time job to supplement my income, that I’m not doing this entrepreneur thing right.
I love the third option.
How might I be able to show up differently for my clients if I am secure in knowing my housing payment is taken care of each month?
What if building a company slowly, consciously, being in rhythm with what wants to happen makes all the difference?
What if my clients don’t feel sold to, but instead invited and welcomed because what I’m sharing is the right fit?
What if my life purpose is a marathon, not a sprint? I’m not here to win, but instead to journey forward.
I like these type of ‘what if’ questions.
I am committed to dive deep on this one lesson. Paying attention to my trigger points, when an article shows up I’m supposed to read, an important conversation with a friend. This week, I focused in laser-style on my relationship to money. Every day, taking one action step that will proactively move me into a feeling of safety and security.
Here’s what I did:
- Applied for two potential part time jobs
- Entered all financial data into my bookkeeping software and reviewed my company’s profit and loss report
- Eliminated any monthly subscriptions that I am not using, even $10 here and there makes a difference
- Sent out three invitations to various audiences to sign up for my programs
- Daily meditation on gratitude and abundance
- Became a reference for other people’s businesses, promoting their good work creates a ripple effect
What I learned is that diving into an intense, focused practice is how you actually get traction.
Move forward. Take care of that one thing that has been sitting in your mind, on your heart, on your shoulders. As successes and accomplishments rise, the fear begins to fall away.
I invite you now to take a moment to reflect: what life lesson is coming up for you right now?
What circumstance keeps showing up over and over?
What makes you want to run and hide?
What key decision is nagging you with no apparent solution?
If you’re ready to move out of fear and step fully into your best self, I invite you to explore my upcoming program: Three Thresholds to Authenticity.
To your highest good,