Your aunt is exactly right. It bothers me as a culture that being helpful turns into a detriment on the job. What I’ve seen too is that companies refuse to have a concrete written version of an admin job duties and if by chance they do, they also include the caveat, “other duties as assigned” and fully exploit and abuse it.
Stopping the job search and backing yourself — a very powerful idea and one I’m thinking of doing myself. Searching Indeed.com and looking at career coaches is getting me nowhere fast, plus it’s not in the direction I want to go anyway. Thank you for your inspiring story.
Reading this is so powerful. “I was asking for something that was not there. Its absence infuriated me.” I realize I am doing the same when I want respect from someone that just refuses to give it. I get infuriated, but it is because I am refusing to accept it and continue to want something that just is not there.
Thank you so much for this brilliantly written and life-changing article.
I am working through personal issues using the Taoist teachings and part of that is to not compare, criticize, or judge yourself or others and to follow the golden thread to the root cause of your feelings & beliefs. Reading about Cognitive Journaling…
Oh yes, I’ve meditated on that many times. I think it comes down to each time I’ve gotten another job I needed that job because of finances — it wasn’t just a switch to a better place. I was desperate and needed employment after layoffs and temp assignments ending. I’d have put more thought into weighing options and if the company was the right fit…
To tell employees what you want and then leave them to their jobs is how it should be, in my opinion. It is so freeing to be able to do a job without micromanagement. Trust must be earned but if the employee is dependable then as you said why waste time and energy following up? I don’t get it either.
Good luck with the new job! I’ve stayed in these types of environments for five years too long. It is so sad that many can relate and have experienced the same on a daily basis. Thanks for reading!
Thanks for reading, Toni. I’d like to think most bosses that have even just a bit of self-awareness about how their actions and behaviors affect others will not be as bad as the few I spoke about. I’m sure you did a great job if you are concerned with or thinking about if you came off as a jerk or not. :)