The Serenity Sabbatical
Who out there has been lucky enough to get a paid sabbatical? I have worked in HR for 15 years, and non-profit advocacy/programs for 5 years, but recently decided to quit my job with nothing lined up. While I am considering my current situation a sabbatical, it isn’t paid. I worked in higher education for 11 years — but as staff, not faculty. I heard about one staff person at our University who supposedly got a paid sabbatical. But as I was on the forefront of our policies for staff, that paid sabbatical was most certainly off the books.
The workplace I just left is a state environmental advocacy nonprofit. As the head of HR, I pitched introducing a paid sabbatical benefit for the staff when I rewrote our handbook. The Excutive Director was biting, but the Boards weren’t quite as progressive. A recent TREC benchmarking survey showed about 40% of my organization’s peers offering a paid sabbatical between 1–3 months, available to staff with 5–7 years of service. Current job postings are starting to show paid sabbaticals included with the benefits — sometimes for as few as 2 years of service. Considering what Americans are putting up with in the workforce these days, a little paid sabbatical sounds like the least employers can do for us.
While I occasionally peruse job postings on LinkedIn, I am not hopeful that I will find something reasonable in today’s workplace. As an insider, let me tell you, the American workplace these days is brutal. And also, HR is not your friend. I really want to insert a rant about the capitalists here, but my last three workplaces were non-profits. Folks typically don’t associate non-profits with capitalists. But the truth is, leadership is almost always capitalist, or at least capitalist- adjacent. Capitalist culture seeps into the non-profit sector as a result of foundation funding. Foundations not only take cues from corporate America, but many are direct offshoots of corporations, as a way to reduce tax liability.
At the enviro org, I was the Chief Operations Officer, which encompassed HR. I figured if the culture and pace weren’t reasonable and manageable, I would be able to influence it. I personally knew the ED of the org from our Green Party days. She asked me to step into this role when her prior head of HR and Finance made a sudden exit. She talked about how they wanted to focus on HR and culture, and that I could have an impact. But at the end of the day, strivers can’t help but strive — which often means expecting everyone to think and act like you do; to have the same work ethic as was taught to you by your protestant father.
Since the org was taking steps to focus on EDI, I framed some of my trusting and empowering workplace ideas into that lens. I was making some headway…until I wasn’t. I fought with her to increase work from home benefits, and policies that would allow employees to manage their day as they see fit by not tracking time off hour for hour — more flexible schedules, lightening the scrutiny. The workplace already had pretty great time off benefits, and was hybrid. But we needed to turn the approach on its ear a little to truly demonstrate our trust in the employee population. She wasn’t on the same page, and I found it very frustrating.
Before deciding to make a long and graceful exit in order to leave them in a better spot than when I arrived, I considered pursing a leave. Not having been there for 12 months and 1250 hours, FMLA would not apply. But often short term disability policy kicks in after 6 months — maybe I could make it to that point? (questions about mental health leave? happy to address!) But, as the head of Operations, and only HR person on staff, I would have to administer my own leave. I didn’t think this would look great to the staff population, and as the key person responsible for the finances, I didn’t want to put the financial burden of my leave onto the organization.
The financial burden and leave eligibility notwithstanding, I had no back up to my responsibilities. Who would run payroll and prepare all the grant budgets and financial reporting? Headcount is woefully low in non-profits, especially on the [non-grant funded] administrative side. (Though considering how for-profits are maximizing their profits at every turn, they are often just as understaffed, trading off the well-being of their employees for maximizing stockholder value.)
In the end, it seemed the better way to go was to let society’s gender roles work in my favor for a change and do my work “inside the home.” I’ve been married for almost 15 years, but never considered the role of housewife/stay-at-home mom until now. I was always confused by women who left lucrative jobs in the workforce — women who paid top dollar to obtain graduate degrees — to be a home maker. Yet, here I am. My only son is in school, so I am blessed with the freedom to explore my interests and creative outlets, while making lots of yummy dishes for the family. And volunteering for activities at my son’s school. In short, there are many pros.
Of course, the cons are in the loss of income. I left voluntarily, so unemployment is not an option (ask me about unemployment — my former team used to oversee the process). Quiet quitting or doing something to get fired could have been an option, but that is not in my DNA. In my career, I achieved decent success in the American workplace. My neurotic and anxious behaviors that go hand-in-hand with my mental health challenges have been pretty appreciated and rewarded in the American workplace. I obsess on things, which ensures things happen. I nitpick to get as close to perfection as possible. I bottle feelings and thoughts in, to get along with everyone. I have a deep respect (fear?) of authority, and want to please everyone. For those like me, we all know this takes a big toll on us personally. But boy, the productivity!
One of the key activities I am undertaking in this sabbatical is creative writing. I enjoy writing and love reading — mostly fiction novels, but non-fiction at times (my favorite author is David Sedaris). I also love a well-written essay and heavily researched article. I want to blog about things I have experienced in the workplace — things that are making the American worker miserable and causing damage to their mental health. I also plan to write about a few other problematic aspects of society, including the failures of capitalism, mental health, environmental responsibility and racism.
The say it’s the journey, not the destination. I have always found that to be a load of crap. But on the serenity sabbatical, I am going to give it a whirl.
