I’m in the dark, but a single spotlight shines on the singer with a guitar. I’m surrounded by happy, tipsy, dancing people. The room is full of life. What I feel can’t be described in words. I breathe in the aroma of whisky, Guinness, cider, sweat, and joy. I see the lights flicker; the air vibrates. I feel the movement around me, and the floor pulse beneath my feet. I hear voices from every corner of the globe chat, laugh, and sing. And they are all chanting… chanting Jungle Book, Aladdin, and The Lion King.
It’s almost midnight. I stand on the second floor of a pub in Dublin, living one of the happiest moments of my life. A guitarist leads us through a Disney medley, and we follow his every word. We reach the climax as he starts to sing Circle of Life and we joins: “Naaaaaants ingonyaaaaama bagithi babaaaaaa, sithi uhm ingonyamaaa.” I witness something beautiful. Just few steps ahead of me, a man lifts his shiny glass. Like Rafiki once held Simba, he tenderly watches it above his head, and brings it to his lips. He takes the most satisfying sip of Guinness. The crowd sings the last notes. Someone heads outside to smoke. It’s 2017. I’m happy.
Defining Happiness
Writing or talking about these moments makes me feel vulnerable, but also alive. They are my core memories that I hold deep in my heart. They are part of what defines me today — what defines my happiness.
Growing up, I never thought of happiness as a specific target or state I needed to reach. Thanks to my loving parents and grandparents, I had many amazing experiences from early childhood. I was raised with love, joy, and a lot of patience. I was quite the talker — sorry, Mam (yes, she reads my articles! Hi Mam!).
What is happiness for me? It’s simple: Happiness is life itself.
It’s not something we need to embark on a grand quest to find because we are already living it. Happiness exists in the middle of our dreams, wishes, values, laughs, and even our tears. Happiness is about the journey — the big and little triumphs, along with the occasional disasters.
This reminds me of a tweet that said, “While you are chasing your dreams, ask yourself why those dreams are running away from you.” So maybe, we should stop chasing and start living.
Understanding Happiness
When I was researching happiness for my master thesis a few years ago, I realized that there is no unified definition in psychology. It can be approached from different perspectives.
One is that happiness means having a sense of purpose and meaning, helping individuals to achieve and grow their potential. The other is that it includes the evaluation of life quality, both emotionally and cognitively. Some of the influential theories on happiness are Seligman’s Authentic Happiness and Fisher’s Hedonistic and Eudaimonic dimensions.
Happiness also involves the dance or interplay of serotonin and dopamine in our brains, but that’s another story.
Seligman’s work introduces a foundational theory for Positive Psychology with happiness playing a significant role. He argues, individuals can achieve happiness through three main ways:
- Experiencing positive emotions
- Living a life aligned with personal values and strengths
- Finding meaning in life.
Let’s keep it in mind.
Creating Happiness
We have more power over our own happiness than we might think, by making deliberate and mindful choices.
According to several studies, more than half of how “happy” we feel as individuals can be attributed to genetics, personality, and life circumstances. However, the rest can be influenced by what we do. Our daily thoughts and actions significantly influence our happiness.
By understanding that a considerable part of our happiness is within our control, we can take the first steps to enhance it. Happiness can manifest as a short-term emotion or mood, or as a long-term, stable state. It’s not an “either-or” question. Instead, it’s about our approach to life that we need to work on.
Your Takeaway
Stop chasing happiness — it’s here.
Live by your values, do what makes you happy (in alignment with local laws), and focus on what you’re good at. Find joy in everyday moments and big achievements. Celebrate and cherish the small things and the major milestones. Happiness is yours to make!
That’s it. Simple. If you want to be happy, create it for yourself. Need more examples? Here you are:
- Find small glimpses of joy throughout the day
Watch sun rays playing with the tree leaves. Listen to the raindrops falling on the street. Add one more spoon of sugar to your coffee. Take not one but two cookies out of the jar. - Embrace long-term goals
Start something bigger, something you’ve always wanted to do. Try new things out. Or face usual things with a new mindset. Enroll in a course or commit to a fitness routine. - Pursue Your Passions
Don’t get lost in perfection — it’s about joy, not mastery. Be curious, be brave. Pick up that instrument you’ve always wanted to play, paint, or start gardening. - Understand and live by your values
Listen more to your heart or your mind. Or live with a mindful heart. Align your choices with what truly matters to you. Connect with your family, hug your friends, and share a meal with a stranger. Volunteer, practice gratitude. Enjoy your favorite ice cream, take a nap, or have some s*x (order not important).
In the end, happiness can sneak into your day when you least anticipate it, hiding in moments of genuine connection — not only with people but with the world within and around us.
Conclusion
Happiness isn’t a flashy neon sign waiting up ahead.
It’s in the bumps and smooth stretches of the road, the laughter, and the tears. It’s in the small, often overlooked moments of daily life. It’s also in our long-term growth, where we find our true selves, live by our values, and embrace our potential.
Enjoy the journey. Create your own journey.
Let yourself be surprised by the unexpected joys that come your way. Every twist and turn, every laugh and tear, is part of what makes life such an adventure. This is what makes happiness for me. This is my secret.
I started to write on Medium as part of the idea to describe the way of a good human. For me, that means also being good to myself. Like back in Dublin, where I was one of those happy, tipsy dancing people.
Shaping my own happiness is a significant part of it. It all starts with me. Or, to quote Uncle Iroh:
You have light and peace inside of you.
If you let it out, you can change the world around you.
And I’m convinced the same applies for happiness.
