Parenting v/s Care for Parents — THE ONE WORLD
Ø Musings of Srinivasan
Very funny and different title isn’t it? Yes I too believe so. Read out what I say.
Think loud dear parents! Equally so you too do, dear children (boys and girls)!
I always have been a dictator to my children when I started parenting new. It indeed is an excitement of that new phase in life. But mostly it is worry, fear, concern that tops it all while parenting. Parents want everything perfect with the child. Towards this quest, it turns to be bruises, abuses, misunderstandings, cry, sorrow and heart burns and disasters in family. Arguments, disagreements, displeasure and loss of peace! Could not be intentional but damages tend to be done in the family fabric. At 60 now, I realize how bad that was of me to have been so with my children. If I was their Dictator those days, after a ripe age, they became my Instructors. With this new factor of life surfacing, ego fizzled, self esteem hurt, I started realizing (wisdom taught) perhaps they are right, as my parenting seeking perfection at any cost then probably was not justified, no matter what. For, I always only looked at discipline for outside world and society, whereas, as kids, at their different phases and stages of their growing up age, they had their own likings, dislikes, people, events, occasions that were to be rightly, logically understood from their perspective sometimes, at times, if not always. May be I failed in my rush and hurry of my only world called children to be perfect or disciplined. I recall only today, who was I satisfying then those days — I have no answer. I go silent and dumb. Experience is lessons learnt over the years and so it does help Parents care for children with caution. But Parents, I say, please do realize, children are no doubt beautiful gifts of god to us and we need to treat them with trust, belief, love, care and concern but don’t always drive discipline or force upon what is not interesting to them. Realise the potential, capabilities, intelligence talents, inherent qualities etc. of your child and then draw your lines on them which can be handled by them comfortably than agonizing them with pressure. Be smarter with them, for, they are smart. Be open, be friendly, confide in them as they grow. Make them your partners in decision making as they grow. If you liked to be called a leader or a boss and take pride, they too are just behind you seeking the same pride! They are your children isn’t it?
I stop on that Parenting, to go to Children now….will be back on to sum up (conclusion) overall summary though!
Hey children, it is again focus shift on your behavior, your character building, your choice of friends, your choice of pursuit of academics, habits, priorities, choices, career track, growth, overall personality. These are the basic factors that build you as a person and very obviously every parent compares his/her child with the world and develops a hero/heroine image, wonder kid image for own kids and derive so much pride, pleasure, joy, excitement with every single step and move and success and accomplishment and achievement of the child. So it is, equally the bounden duty of every child to stay focused in meeting the expectations what parents possess.
Imagine your survival, existence and self respects given /driven by situations at home very differently to each one of you which you must realize, is all based on capabilities, in-capabilities, affordability, richness, poorness of parents, their sacrifices, compromises — everything only to ensure happiness for you in any and many forms, if well understood will keep you unfaltering in your living standards and love and concern for parents and their wishful thoughts for you.
Conclude: Times have changed. Conservative Conventional style tossed. Parents and Children can be good friends and communicate effectively, decently, softly and well spoken. Communication is most essential and very important and key factor in holding this pious relationship, bonding in high spirits. Allowing a discussion or a fair debate on decisions of life depends on two way communication to arrive at mutually comfortable level and keep lives of both parents and children looking eye to eye than on logger headed situations.
Dear Parents category and their children category
Ø please respect each other, do not dominate
Ø please give and do not ask or take
Ø realize you are one for each other
Ø please forgive, forget the worsts (if any) and reminisce the bests
Ø no finding faults, no running down
Ø encourage, enlighten and endure
Ø be kind and courteous to each other
I am not drawing this divine relationship or bonding to a formalized factor of life. But am trying to bring back to life the discerning ways this has been taking turns creating unrest.
So Parents and Children/Kids — — -Your world will definitely look good and you will be peaceful and be on high ground with the satisfaction you get doing this certainly.
Better life and gratified life is what we all deserve. So will it be for you. Live life Kingsize.